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Thursday, 9 August 2012

Step In, or Watch Her Fall?

Girls especially, will know exactly what I'm talking about.

You know that relationship your friend is in that you KNOW is doomed? Yeah that one.

Boy meets girl, girl meets boy.
Sparks fly.
They THINK they're in love.
She tells you how awesome this dude is, and you go...

courtesy of Google images
You've heard about him and his reputation - Casanova, sleazebag, King of Douchedom, jerk, heartbreaker et cetera. But your friend is convinced he's tailor-made for her!

What do you do?

My brother's reaction was: leave her alone la... maybe she likes "bad boys".

Yeah, I've met the type. They date men who will never marry them, they're made to feel inferior whilst dating these men, said men always have the last laugh and all that jazz. So while your friend goes through all the emotional turmoil of Britney Spears on steroids, what should you do?

Step In, or Watch Her Fall?

Interferring is not my style anymore. Back in high school, a friend was dating the kind of dude you could use as blueprint to build an idiot (source: http://www.thejokeyard.com/). I was the only one who said things like, "you know, you should get to know him first. What if he's a drug-dealing lunatic??" She didn't take that very kindly and thought I was jealous of her relationship.

Say whuuuuut...?
(FYI, the dude wasn't a drug dealing lunatic, but he WAS a sneaky cheating smoker.)

And then there are girls who think they know everything there is to know about their current beau. You've spoken to the dude for a grand total of 50-odd hours. No, you don't know him AT - ALL. My dad once said,' you don't know a person until you've lived with him/her.' Sure, discovering each other is part of the fun, but you should at least find out if he has a criminal record before you fall head over heels - by then it's usually too late.

I also discovered, that when your girlfriend asks you something like: is it kind of wrong if I think about *this* when he says *that*? 

she's not going to listen to you if what you say is not what she wants to hear.

What she Wants to hear is: Of COURSE not! He's PERFECT for you! It's just early in the relationship, it's TO...tally normalnot: well, it's a little worrying if you don't believe what he's actually saying, but just be cautious especially since you haven't been dating for very long.

She's not actually asking you for advice, she's seeking reassurance. Anything you say to the contrary will make her doubt your friendship.

So ladies and gentlemen, the wisest thing to do (IMHO) is to stay objective. NEVER pass judgements, always provide a listening ear, be impartial but do not lie, and ONLY step in if she shows signs of being emotionally/physically abused.

courtesy of Google images

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