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Tuesday, 31 August 2010

At A Lost

I should learn to keep my mouth shut sometimes.


I'm working on it.

Following your heart might not always be the right thing to do. Especially if the decision to do so is made in a haste. There are a lot of factors evolving around what a person says/does.

In our 2nd year of tertiary studies in the Yong Siew Toh Conservatory of Music, we're all required to take "Critical Thinking for Musicians", a module that's supposed to hone our skills in managing our lives better - both personal and professional. Last 2 weeks, we talked about how we would want to take complete control of our lives, and be our own dictators instead of having others shove us around.

Well, I don't think it's possible for ANYONE to take complete control of your life. If you think you're the supreme ruler of your own life, you're living in denial.

Our actions, conduct and speech is dictated by our society and culture; our eventual careers are prompted by our parents/relatives/senior advisors etc; opportunities to make a name for ourselves are in the hands of others; the food we eat is influenced by what others tell us tastes good/is healthy...

Living a good life doesn't mean you have to be in complete control over it by the time you're 30. Whether you like it or not, some decisions are not yours to make; and there's no point sulking over the outcome. Opportunities come and go, and you should kick yourself if YOU let it slip through your grasp. But should it slip past because of what another person said/did, you should either: a) let it go because there's nothing you can do about it; or b) put in double/triple the effort to grab the opportunity the next time it comes by.

Same thing applies to our speech. If we all paraded our thoughts openly, half the world would be in jail. Human beings are all selfish creatures, and some of us live in that little bubble where we think we're always right and everyone else is wrong. Well, when one wishes to pass on a comment/advice, one should always take into consideration all aspects of the other person's feelings and (possible) mindset in case one's statement/advice is misinterpreted; and if a third party is involved, one should always consult the third party before approaching the "other" person.

I hope I'm making sense. Lol.

As for our careers, I don't think see what's the hoo-ha with regards to our parents/relatives/senior advisors influencing our decisions. As long as we take the responsibilities that come with our decision and not blame it on them when you find that the career path you chose doesn't suit you, what's the problem? In any case, (most) parents/relatives/senior advisors just want the best for you, no?


I need sleep...

Saturday, 28 August 2010

Of Birthdays and Celebrations

We had dinner here:
Brotzeit @ Somerset 313

Because it was this guy's 22nd birthday:


James and I

Everyone looking happy with their drinks

And even happier with the food.

It was a night of good fun, talk, gossip and laughter. I heard things that I didn't quite know about certain people... Ah well...

Happy 22nd, Vincent!

Thursday, 26 August 2010

At This Point

Wonder what it'd be like to NOT have a care in the world and just live life for yourself, and not for others?

Grr, I think I'm PMS-ing.

Was feeling miserable for a short while yesterday evening for no reason at all. Just thought about my assignments and tests that I have to get done by the end of next week, on top of practicing for major lessons and MPYO camp, and worrying about saying the wrong things at the wrong times... I mean, I can't get away without doing any of the above mentioned and I have no intention of even TRYING to get away with Not doing any of them so...

Why the HELL was I feeling so down??!

Okay, rant over.

Chamber lesson was really fun this week (can't really say the same for chamber studio -_-"). I enjoyed playing for the teacher and listening to what he had to say. And of course, it helped that I really like the piece. =D=D=D

Anyways, I'm going crazy with the amount of work/assignments/projects I have due, so I'm not gonna be blogging very often. Bleh~ Barely have time to practice even. Sprained my upper right arm this afternoon and was swearing at the wall for a solid minute or two. O_O!

Homework time......

Friday, 20 August 2010

A Realization?

Pretty much got my voice back now. Still coughing on and off, but last night, I (finally) managed to sleep through the night without waking up to belt out a few hacking coughs before drifting off to sleep again.

Phew~ The worst is over, I guess.

Anyone who reads this blog will know that I usually don't post insightful things - cause I'm not a very insightful person - but anyways...

With my way of talking, I tend to offend people sometimes, I do realize that. It's the certain blunt way in which my words come out that sound kinda border-line-rude-ish; even if I don't mean to sound rude. Perhaps that's why a lot of girls find it hard to talk to me cause I don't do the whole "pretend to be nice to you then bad mouth you behind your back" thing. If I don't like you, I tell you I don't like you. Either that, or I keep my thoughts to myself. Being pretentious is worse than telling someone you don't like them to their face. I try not to be a sexist, but what I hate about a lot of girls is their tendency to be pretentious. Explains why I hang out more with guys than I do girls?

Wynne and Guan Yu, you're both exceptions!!! =D

That being said, to those of you who DO indulge in pretending to be nice to people you don't actually like; word spreads. Either keep the things you don't like about other people to yourself, or tell it to them, you coward. =)

Anyways, I'm currently having the best weekend ever~! Not that I did anything special, but I'm finally HAVING a weekend after 12 weekdays, thanks to the YOG thing. It felt really good to wake up however late I want and not have to rush for classes and stuff like that. Just took my own sweet time, brunch with James, then head to school to practice.

Which reminds me, I have to do my laundry tonight, as well as get started on some homework. Can't afford to procrastinate this semester, cause the workload will keep increasing until I suffocate eventually. *mumblegrumble*

Read the sister's blog just now, and found that Death is back at work again. We just lost 2 relatives who we're not terribly close to, but visit every Chinese New Year. It's very saddening to lose the people around you... The houses we drop by when my family and I go visiting during Chinese New Year are getting noticeably lesser each year. *sighs*

Life goes on, I guess.

Chamber rehearsal...

Tuesday, 17 August 2010

At Long Last...

So I'm actually able to sleep at night now that the cough's a lot better. Ate an apple and drank almost the whole bottle of chlorophyll before sleeping last night. Loved the apple cause it was so darn refreshing and sweet. All thanks to the parents and aunt who brought me the apples and kiwi fruit from KL!

They didn't come all the way just to pass me fruits la... The parents, Wee Qin and the aunt came to watch the YOG Esplanade Concert as well as do some shopping. I regret that the concert could have been much better - due to reasons I shall not disclose here - but at least we had a good time catching up over dinner (with Andrew and James) and supper (with James and Ray). They dropped us off at PGP before heading to their hotel in Sentosa (jealous!!!) and left yesterday afternoon.

Despite the fact that the YOG opening ceremony and the Esplanade concert were good performing opportunities for me, and it's not very often that these chances drop from the sky; I'm pretty glad it's all over. For one thing, I was ill during the entire week of concert rehearsals and opening ceremony run-throughs, which involved orchestra practice for 3-4hours in the morning, heading to the "Floating Platform" on Marina, waiting (under the rain) for 4 hours, "perform" for 3 minutes, and by the time we get back to PGP, it's almost midnight. The concert itself wasn't great, and I couldn't enjoy myself much cause I was preoccupied with trying not to cough the entire concert. It got so bad that I started tearing at one point, and when it got to the 2nd movement of the Dvorak Symphony, I had to press my fist against my mouth to stop myself from coughing. Not very pleasant.

However, it was nice to see my parents, aunt and Wee Qin and gossip about stuff. Mom was giving me a lecture with regards to my health not unlike the one that James had given when I first fell ill. Lol.

Will be looking forward to my trip back to KL in September. Get away from my crazy schedule in YST and all... Seriously, this term is like $%^&*!!! I've got classes EVERYDAY and it SO darn difficult to even fit my major class into my already-tight time table.



Thursday, 5 August 2010

A Hindrance?

I'm ill. Friggin' fever comes on and off, my entire body is aching as if I just ran a marathon, every time I swallow my throat hurts like World War III and on top of that...

Okay, I shall not turn this post into an epic emo rant.

Supposed to go for a steamboat thing tonight, but I don't know if I can/should stay up so late cause I have to wake up really early tomorrow. Next week is gonna be hell week, and I'll have many more hell weeks to endure after that so I really need to get more rest. Immune system's down cause my body's not used to the routine I have here, yet.

Right. I admit that I haven't been taking my supplements, but still... Oh, how ironic. I just remembered that the last time I fell really ill was last year. As in, exactly 12 months ago. I remember it very clearly cause it was the first week of the semester and I was absent for an entire week's lessons. Dunno what kind of timing my body has but it seems to be getting more and more screwed up as I get older. I mean, I had 2 WHOLE months to fall ill when I was back in KL, with less responsibilities and workload - and I didn't fall ill; it's currently close to my 2nd week in Singapore and NOW I start to malfunction???


I'm off to practice a little. Probably starting lessons with Souptel next week and I don't wanna play horribly on my first lesson of the year.

Me falling ill is Not your fault. Please stop blaming yourself because you've done enough as it is. Thanks for always being there for me.

And sorry for all the trouble I've caused you.

Monday, 2 August 2010


In Singapore.

Checked into PGP yesterday. I didn't get the room I wanted, or thought I'd have, but since I've got air-conditioning and the room ain't in a horrible state, I'm satisfied. =)

Had dinner with the M'sians last night at K Gourmet's. T'was good, lot of gossip and random talk. I had my first cheese baked rice dish in the longest time~ Yumm~!

Felt SO good sleeping under the covers last night. Whee~~ So cosy, yet it doesn't feel sticky or anything. Like, I wasn't sweating, it felt good cause the air cond kept the air dry. It was insanely difficult to get out of the bed this morning cause...

1) It was too comfortable
2) It was cold without the quilt
3) I was lazy

Heehee. Still managed to drag myself up though. Was in YST by 10-ish, bid for the Singapore Studies Module, checked availability of the SSO concerts (neither James nor I bought any this time cause the ones we wanted were all sold out -_-") then warmed up a little before Ray came and we headed to lunch.

Practiced till about 45mins ago when my fingers started freezing up, and...

I should get back to practicing now. =D


I never thought I'd say this, but... it's good to be back.