I Serve

Click Click Click!

Tuesday, 2 March 2010

Conflicting Emotions

Read this while I was blog-hopping awhile earlier...

A girl needs to know that she's needed. When you told me you didn't need me the other day, I was hurt. It hurt so bad that I felt like someone had just put a bullet through my heart. You may not have meant it that way, but those words cut deep.

I never asked for you to do extra things for me. We've known each other for a number of years now, and  you know what I'm like. I don't want flowers, or pretty cards, or dinner dates at fancy restaurants... But it would be nice to know that you appreciated having me around. A simple gesture would do - a hug, a kiss, a warm smile - anything that would make me think : okay, I'm on the right track. He doesn't think I'm a possessive bitch. Was that too much to ask?

I've mentioned this before - about you cold-shouldering me in public - and it hasn't improved, even after I talked to you at length about it. I wonder if it's because you feel uncomfortable, or it's because you don't like the skin-ship. When we're out somewhere (for a movie or shopping) you don't hold my hand, you don't put your arm around my shoulders, you walk at least a feet away from me... We've been together for a couple of months now, for Christ's sake, and you can't even hold your girlfriend's hand in public?

This has been a constant thorn in my side. Before we got together, you were so nice, so warm and friendly. You offered to get me drinks during our lunch breaks, you gave me friendly hugs whenever you saw me, you even gave me a massage when I complained of a stiff neck. Where did all that affection go? You're treating me no better than how you would a stranger. Am I just your girlfriend in title?

When I called you last night to tell you I can't take it anymore, I was hoping that you would at least apologize. Knowing you as I did for a few years before you courted me, I had the impression that you were capable of being a good boyfriend. Apparently, I thought wrong.

Do you think that girls are for BuyAndThrowAway? You think you can just buy and then throw me away?

Whoever that guy is, I hope he gets what he deserves. Thankfully *a-hem*'s not like that. I mean, he has his flaws, but I have mine too, so...

That blog post just reminded me a teeny bit of what I went through. But unlike that poor girl, mine has gotten a lot better. =) 

The day has gone by pretty smoothly so far... Hopefully it remains the same till next week at least. I really hate it when issues crop up, especially when they seem impossible to solve. O_O Grr... At least I'll have 5 days back in KL (MPYO March Camp) to get away from the hassle, even if it's only for a brief period.

Dinner, anyone?

Though I'd like it if you were a little more attentive sometimes, just do whatever comes naturally.

Love you. <3

No comments: