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Monday, 18 January 2010

Wants and Needs?

Yes, I am yet again, left with nothing to do but ponder about random things/issues that (may/may not) concern myself.


I've had a really long day, and I'm so tired right now I could just drop dead, but this (issue?) has been at the back of my mind since this afternoon and, since I know I won't be able to fall asleep until I blog about it......

Well, this is gonna be a random post about relationships. 

In a relationship, there are always things partners expect from one another. It's a dance of compromise, compassion and personal boundaries.

"If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you."

That, is a common accusation BOTH women and men make that, upon closer examination, does not make sense. 


Earth to whoever uses that (unfair) statement on their significant other, unless he/she is a freakin' mind-reader (psychopath), how the HELL is he/she supposed to know what he/she did wrong/you want/need??

Be honest, and just tell him/her outright, for goodness' sake. There's no point beating around the bush/being shy, cause if you start beating around the bush/being shy around him/her, it just shows that you're not comfortable with being frank with him/her, which also means that you're not ready to be in a relationship to start with.

Loving one another is being able to tell him/her, "that shirt looks horrendous/you need to tone your voice down a little/what you said earlier really hurt/can you try bugging me a little less?/I'm busy right now, can I talk to you later?" without worrying about jeopardizing your love for one another. If you can't even tell your man/woman that he/she's got curry stains on his/her teeth, then you shouldn't have gone past the flirting stage in the first place. -_-'

If your excuse is : but what if we end up arguing?

It is a known fact, that we argue with the people we care about. Admittedly, most of us end up sprouting nonsense and (women, in particular) dig up  and mention (resolved) issues of the past which have no relation whatsoever to whatever you're currently arguing about. Being in the midst of an argument/heated discussion is not the best time to listen to one another's needs. Come on, you're both not in the right state of mind, you're both not able to be reasonable, and you're both probably gonna end up saying things you don't mean.

Which you WILL regret, after things have cooled down, and you've had a couple of minutes to realize what you said to each other.

The best way to solve your problems, is not to be silent, and tell each other what you wish he/she did more/less, what he/she said that offended you, what he/she did that annoyed you, how much you want he/she to spend more time with you etc...

Cause seriously, relationships thrive on honesty, communication, mutual caring, and time spent together.

Yes yes yes, easier said than done.

How 'bout this then?

Start by telling him/her where you wanna eat for lunch tomorrow.


It's been a month now...


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