The Geography of a Woman
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa - half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe - well-developed and open to trade, especially for something of real value.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain - very hot, relaxed, and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece - gently aging, but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all-conquering past.
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel - has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, and takes care of business.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada - cool, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.
After 70, she becomes Tibet - wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages.... an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.
The Geography of a Man
Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran - ruled by nuts.
Little Tommy rushed into the farmhouse and said, 'Mummy, mummy, come look. The bull is f *** ing one of the cows'
His mother's jaw dropped, 'Tommy,' she scolded. 'You must never say that word again. You should say, the bull is surprising one of the cows. "
A week later, Tommy runs into the farmhouse once more. 'Mummy, mummy,' he said excitedly 'The bull is Surprising ALL of the cows. "
His mother shook her head. 'Now Tommy, do not be silly. The bull can not surprise ALL the cows. "
Tommy nodded vigorously. 'Yes it can ....'
'No it can not, Tommy. "
'Yes it can .... It's f **** ing the horse. "