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Thursday, 12 November 2009

BEDLAM jokes =)

JOKE 1

The Geography of a Woman

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa - half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe - well-developed and open to trade, especially for something of real value.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain - very hot, relaxed, and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece - gently aging, but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all-conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel - has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, and takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada - cool, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.

After 70, she becomes Tibet - wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages.... an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.

The Geography of a Man

Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran - ruled by nuts.


JOKE 2

Little Tommy rushed into the farmhouse and said, 'Mummy, mummy, come look. The bull is f *** ing one of the cows'

His mother's jaw dropped, 'Tommy,' she scolded. 'You must never say that word again. You should say, the bull is surprising one of the cows. "

A week later, Tommy runs into the farmhouse once more. 'Mummy, mummy,' he said excitedly 'The bull is Surprising ALL of the cows. "

His mother shook her head. 'Now Tommy, do not be silly. The bull can not surprise ALL the cows. "

Tommy nodded vigorously. 'Yes it can ....'

'No it can not, Tommy. "

'Yes it can .... It's f **** ing the horse. "


JOKE 3


Why is a christmas tree better than a man???

It stays up for twelve whole days and twelve nights, has rather cute balls and looks good with the lights on!!!!!


Haha. Get more laughs HERE!

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