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Friday, 2 October 2009

Don't Push It

Because I'm right at the edge of the hill...


Hmm... I need to practice my orchestra parts. Placement audition on the 26th and I just got the parts today. Studio class next week and I don't wanna make an embarrassment outta myself.

Have to prepare.

I'll get the recordings and full score from the library tomorrow. I just checked, and they're still available. Beats me why nobody's taken them yet. I'd better grab them before it's too late...

I'm unconsciously isolating myself these days and I have no idea why. I've been so wrapped up in my own thoughts that sometimes I wind up somewhere or doing something that I don't remember wanting/intending to do. Weird. Then occasionally I have these gaps in my memory that I can't recall what I did unless I really retrace my steps and THEN I'll remember.

I think time is playing tricks on my mind. I could swear that it was just Tuesday a few minutes ago, yet it's already the end of the week. I've got to go for an SSO concert tonight (they're playing Bruckner), have a full-day practice and do my laundry on Saturday, go for a gig practice on Sunday, then it's back to a Monday again. These things fly by so fast that I don't feel like I had my full share of 24 hours. I mean, I don't sleep more than 5-6 hours at night, I wake up at 7 every morning (except maybe Fridays), I don't have THAT many classes and yet... 

Garr... And I thought time flew by when I was in college. It's even faster over here! 

Anyhoo, I'd just like to stress again that I don't, and will never acknowledge a relationship that's based on a truck full of lies. Like, are you two BLIND or something? Do you think you can stick your head into the ground like an ostrich and pretend that everything's fine and dandy? Here I am, thousands of miles away, and you can still find a way to bug me. You're BOTH my friends, I care about the BOTH of you, I've heard BOTH sides of the story, and I've pretty much concluded that BOTH of you have your faults, and I've told you BOTH what I think.

So why the hell are you asking me to choose a side??

Why has it gone back to the Primary school days when we solved problems by threatening friends saying: if you friend (said as: fren) him then I don't "fren" you anymore.

Like, what the hell? 

You've got issues with each other, then solve it amongst yourselves! As much as I'm your friend, it's not fair to drag me into this. Quite frankly speaking, I couldn't give two hoots about what's happening between you two. I mean, what's your love life got to do with me? Okay, it's fine if you wanna tell me about "the" problem, but why the heck did you both turn around and stab me by telling me that the outcome of your problems with each other will result in my not being friends with one of you. Does that even make sense?

Go sort it out on your own. I've told you what I think, and that's as far as I can/will interfere.

And if you still think the same way after you've read this, then my advice, is to go back to kindergarten, learn your ABCs and watch "Barney and Friends".



I love you you love me, your love life ain't concerning me.

You love him, he loves you, why drag me into this too?


Do you ever see ME running to anyone when I have a problem? If you're kind enough to ask, and if I trust you, sure. But apart from that, I keep them to myself. Think about that, and see if you think you've been nice to me. 

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