Don't you think so?
Wednesday, 30 September 2009
Too fast... WAY too fast.
I can't believe I've been here for more than 2 months
I can't believe half of the term is gone
I can't believe the year's fast coming to an end
I can't believe I've had 7 weeks of lessons when it barely felt like 3
But I believe, I need to work much harder. I'm not doing enough. Sometimes I don't even know what's wrong; why my fingers don't move the way I want them to, why my arm position keeps reverting to its old ways, why my pinky's crooked, why I play out of tune when I concentrate on my bow arm, why, no matter how many times I tell myself, my wrist just KEEPS coming up...
I get so frustrated with myself when I'm practicing that at times I feel like bashing my head against the wall.
Lesson was not a catastrophe, but I'm not progressing as much as I had hoped. My fingers have gotten stronger, but it's not enough. Not even close. Hence,
I've gotta finish Dr Koo's work...
PLUS Dr Edwards'...
Remind me again why *points to the one up there* gives us a mere 24 hours a day??
I'm beginning to wonder if the world's secretly being controlled by Hades. O_o
Kidding. I'm just being cranky cause I'm really REALLY tired today. Dozed off a couple o' times in the taxi on the way back to YST from Mr Souptel's place. Lol.
Which, is why I reckon I need to get some sleep now.
Thursday, 24 September 2009
It seems like only yesterday that I ran out of YST after class, took the A2 bus to PGP, rushed about in my tiny room, panicking and mentally ticking off all the neccessary things I have to take with me back home, at the same time stuffing down some snacks I bought from "Old Chang Kee" (having had no time for lunch), panting all the way to the entrance of PGP after I've double-checked everything, calling the cab, making my way to Harbourfront Centre, sighing in relief after I got my bus tickets WAY ahead of time, having a cup of latte whilst waiting to board the bus, being ON the bus, coming back home, reaching Corus Hotel, my dad driving us back home, surprising my mom in Claris, having steamboat for supper....
And all too soon I'll have to head back to Singapore.
I have to admit, I haven't been doing anything productive, much. Apart from practicing and doing the "reflection" for the mid-sem project, I've been lazing around the house. The good thing is, I've caught up on my lost sleep, and the bags under my eyes have disappeared. =)
Managed to meet up with some college mates on Saturday. Talked for a bit, then watched "G-Force" (which was a total waste of time), shopped a little... Regretfully, due to unforeseen circumstances, the other outings I had planned might not happen, and I'd have to wait till December to see the rest of my friends.
Been having issues with whatever it is I'm doing, currently. It seems as if the passion and excitement have diminished... I wonder why on earth I feel this way, and have come to no conclusion whatsoever. Maybe it's the lack of motivation, maybe because I don't push myself enough, maybe the environment's not right, maybe...
Just maybe, I'm not cut out for this?
Oh well, I'm just gonna have to grit my teeth and get through it. Perhaps it's just me being stupid and thinking nonsense cause I've got nothing else to do. O_o
Will update if (HyunJoong forbid =P) the sky turns to fire and my nose falls off. =D
Tuesday, 22 September 2009
Thursday, 17 September 2009
That ONE person can ruin something 7 others had prepared for. What has the world come to???
No matter, I'm going back home in a day's time. =D
But first, I gotta finish up my homework. Dang, I've got a lot to do. Stupid Ear Master thingy... *grumbles* =D
Meeting up with a few college friends some time next week... Someone might be coming, I dunno. I don't care. But I dunno if I can handle the sight of...
It's alright. I can pull a brave face when I want to. All I have to do is ignore that person right? I was doing that the last few weeks in college, so it shouldn't be difficult to do the same thing again. And it's not like we'll be alone anyways, or I'd risk exploding and slapping...
Nah, I won't.
Okay, this is a sign that I should sleep now. It's almost 1am now and I have to wake up at 7am tomorrow.
It doesn't help that the awful memories haven't vanished
Tuesday, 15 September 2009
Had a bout of vomitting this morning. Resulted in skipping 2 of my morning classes. O_o I reckon it was the chicken rice I had last night. Bleh... Almost had to crawl back to my room after I puked the 2nd time.
Anyways, it's back to M'sia in 3 days so... I'll be having good food (and putting on weight in the process), good sleep and (hopefully) good practice. =D
I haven't been updating much partially because I've sorta lost the "blogging urge" or however people term it, and also because I haven't got much time to update. Try having your lecturers throw assignment after assignment at you and see if you can still think up something interesting to write on your blog.
Most of the time, I sit in front of my laptop and stare at my blog dashboard, wanting to update because it's been ages since the last time I did so, clicking on the "new post" link after 10 minutes of "should I or should I not?", then when I manage to think of what to name the post, I lose the ability to construct coherent sentences, finally giving up on updating altogether.
Anyhoo, I'm waking up early to rehearse our mid-term project (which I find a complete waste of time and effort) so I reckon I'd better get some sleep.
Till I find a time where my brain juices aren't critically low, farewell.
See? I can't even END a post properly now.
Tuesday, 8 September 2009
On the afternoon of the 18th this month. Reaching approximately at 9pm or so. =) Can't wait to be back home again...
But first, I gotta practice.
Gotta finish the stupid mid-term project.
Have to run-through Dr. Koo's transposition stuff cause I don't wanna eff-up my marks.
Remind myself to re-send the Finale folder to Dr. Edwards.
Then I can start packing!!!
As much as I miss home when I'm over here, I can't help but wish I was further away... Of course, YST's provides a great opportunity, but if I get an equal offer to, say, the US, I'd jump at it without a second thought. Even if it means only seeing my family once a year. Mom agrees with me too, things are never what it seems, I learnt that when our classes started.
Right. I've got "Music Tech" class now so... Updates in... Another week's time perhaps? ;)
Wednesday, 2 September 2009
I'm back =)
Haven't blogged for awhile and I'm real tired now so...
Why does it seem like everyone around me is pairing off?
Haha. Random much?
Anyhoo, camp was... brief. At least, it felt that way. Maybe cause we were so tired all the time that's why... And maybe because we didn't really do much together...
Gah, camp was fun, nonetheless, excluding the drama bits as well as moments where certain annoying people start gnawing on our nerves. =D Then again, we get on each other's nerves often enough.
Anyways, pics are up on Facebook, so go check them out there. And again, I shan't be blogging about camp in detail, since most of those who read my blog are from MPYO anyways. =)
Had my 2nd lesson with Mr Souptel today. T'was good, but I've got a lot to improve on, like, seriously. Shit. I've got orchestra practice this Thursday for Musourgsky (pardon if I spelt it wrongly. Too lazy to check the actual spelling =P) and I haven't practiced my part yet.
Am I screwed or what? O_o
And I'm back to where I started...
I'm gonna take it one step at a time.
Help me, please.