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Thursday, 16 July 2009

Heartbroken

Apart from the food, everything's been fine and dandy. =) Starting to practice at every chance I get, which is one of the reasons why I haven't been blogging. The other reason, is that I don't even effing have a laptop yet. O_o waiting for the Comp Fair so that I can get a better deal.

Met a lot of people, some downright interesting ones; consisting of this one girl who's, by herself, an amusing person. And another guy who looks almost exactly like Xiah Jun Su from DBSK, only Xiah's a million times hotter. =P

Just went through library orientation. Had a med check up yesterday which resulted in a nice blue-black mark where they took my blood from. My arm was hurting for the rest of the day. Did some shopping in Vivo city, complained about Singaporean food, missing home and my own room...

I was just thinking that maybe things would go on smoothly after all, then last night...

No wonder you didn't sound too estatic when you told me.

No wonder you both gave me shifty glances when you saw me.

No wonder you people acted strangely around me.

You tried to hide your opinion but it was painstakingly obvious to me.

I had to force myself to sound unhappy about it just so you wouldn't know that I was secretly jumping for joy inside.

I had doubts as to whether I'd be able to do it well, but all thanks to ***********************, my confidence level went 6 feet under.

How am I supposed to do it knowing what you all think about it?

Do you all doubt my abilities that much?

I was expecting surprise (I was very much surprised myself) but not disappointment, to this extent.

I felt like shit last night. And felt even worse because I couldn't tell anybody. Which hurt like crap.

Spent a good 2 hours crying when it finally hit me, what I found out meant so much.

I found out that I meant so little...

Right. Going for a concert in the Esplanade later. Will be practicing till then. Ciao!

Louisa, if you read this, tell mommy not to worry kay? I'm doing fine on my own. I miss everyone back home, give Snowy my love and make some sarcastic remarks on my behalf to Ivan kay? See you in December =)

2 comments:

너의 친구 리나 =) said...

yo clare!

good to know that you're doing well in singie. I call Tasmania Tassie..I dunno what to call Singapore..would Singie be correct?

Anywayz...life without laptop...boy..sure shux...but, you're in a conservatoire..suppose to be practicing anyway. Hahaha...

Hey look...even though you're only across the Causeway, the first few weeks completely on your own would be hard. But, that just makes you more alert of yourself and your surroundings. You become a better person because you start learning to, not only become independent but also start to know who the real people are and who are the fakers. It's the instincts I tell you..works wonders. =)

My friend at NUS says that the semester doesn't start in 3 wks though. Is it different from YST? geez...pictures woman!

<3

p/s: a guy that looks like Junsu? only 100times not so hot? I still demand pictures! XDD

Clarissa said...

Haha. It's not THAT bad without a laptop cause the conservatory has computers with internet access. =)

YST also starts around the same time. But cause we're freshmen, we've got a 3-week orientation. =D

I'll be coming back for the MPYO August camp though. Come watch the concert! We're playing Nutcracker as well as Pirates of the Carribean!

I'll see if it's possible to snag a pic of him. But he's always so aloof!! Haven't even spoken to him once =P

Keep reading me blog fer updates =)