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Saturday, 24 January 2009

You Know Your Life Is Complete When...

you load 13 CDs of Chopin's Piano works, All of Bach's Brandenburg Concertos, Beethoven's Symphony No.5 and Rachmaninov's Piano Concertos into your i-pod, in one night, under 2 hours.

Gone were the days where I used to worship pop songs and sing along to them with gusto. (I still sing along to them, but without as much enthusiasm as I used to) Instead, I've found something else worth "worshipping"-the wonderful world of Classical Music.

I'm still a little biased in a way. I've never acquired the taste for 20th century music- too many clashing chords and weird melodies. However, my appreciation for all else Classical has increased drastically since I joined the MPYO. I used to listen only to Mozart (which unevitably, puts me to sleep) and a little bit of Bach and such, but I've learnt to open my ears and go as far as listening to Stravinsky and Shostakovitch. I remember telling my mom that Classical music is boring and they're only for old, retired people who have nothing to do on Sunday afternoons but to dress up and attend concerts.

This, is a classic case of me having to eat my own words.

I no longer groan when my mom announces that a concert is due this weekend, nor do I roll my eyes when she says I have to listen to more than all that pop rubbish. I don't fall asleep during MPO concerts anymore, instead, I'm always looking out for interesting performances, then bugging the life out of my mom to get those tickets.

Whether you admit it or not, music imbeds our daily life, weaving its beauty and emotion through our thoughts, activities and memories. When I first started piano lessons, I did not realize what I was getting into. I had thought that playing the piano was somewhat of a trivial pursuit. In fact, I only took lessons because I thought it'll be weird if the daughter of 2 musicians didn't even play an instrument. I did not realize how completely fascinating music is. You see, in our culture many of us do not really learn to understand music. For much of the world, music is a language, but for us it is something that we consumed passively. When I joined the MPYO, however, it changed all that for me. I have had some experience playing in an orchestra (the Annual Musical Jamborees), but I have never been in one long enough to really understand what music is all about.

I don't regret continuing my violin lessons anymore.

Just the other day, I realised how close I was to never experiencing the MPYO camps. Mom and I had lunch with Vira and her boyfriend last week, and we talked about the lessons we used to have. Though I really didn't like playing the violin back then, I'd always made an effort because she was a really nice and patient teacher. However, she subsequently got a lot more demanding, and I was getting more stressed. Slightly after I took my Grade 8 exam, I'd wanted to give up, thinking that I'd had enough.

Mom saved me by saying:

I didn't pay for all your lessons and got you an expensive violin for you to give up just after your exam. Don't you want to take it further?

I continued for a year further with Vira, and came close to giving up again. I was tired of being told how my intonation is off, how my fingers weren't cooperating and most importantly, I didn't get what she was trying to teach me. Vira and I decided to call it quits, she suggested that maybe I would do better under another teacher. She had taught me everything she could possibly teach me, and recommended me to Liu Jian.

Frankly speaking, my mom and I had a huge row before I'd consented to attend a trial class with Liu Jian. I gave in, but thinking that I'd play so badly that she'd probably stop me within the first few bars.

Surprisingly, she said Vira had done a good job with me.

It's thanks to Vira that my intonation is (admittedly not perfect) but o-kay, thanks to her, I got to perform 3 times under the Encounter Programme for the Musical Jamborees and thanks to Liu Jian, I'm one step closer to entering a music college overseas.

Now, I have this evening's performance to look forward to. I'll be waiting for the familiar symptoms to return. The palms moisten, the stomach becomes queasy, the heart beats harder and faster, breathing becomes more shallow, the knees feel weak.

"Here we go again," I shall think to myself, disgusted that the cycle is seemingly beyond my control. Is it possible to overcome the body's natural defense mechanisms? To use the surge of adrenalin in a positive way to enhance instead of hinder a performance?

Well, we'll find out this evening, shall we?

Friday, 23 January 2009

random stuff...

Heard this on Light & Easy this afternoon whilst heading near college for lunch. (Had to send the daughter of my dad's friend to school so they could play golf)

I'll Never Get Over You (Getting Over Me)





I hear you're taking the town again
Having a good time
With all your good time friends

I don't think that you think of me
You're on your own now
And I'm alone and free

I know that I should get on with my life
But a life lived without you could never be right

As long as the stars shine down from the heaven
As long as the rivers run to the sea
I'll never get over you getting over me

I tried to smile so the hurt won't show
Tell everybody I was glad to see you go
But the tears just won't go away
Loneliness found me looks like it's here to stay

I know that I ought to find someone new
But all I found is myself always thinking of you

As long as the stars shine down from the heaven
As long as the rivers run to the sea
I'll never get over you getting over me

Oh no matter what I do
Each night's a life time to live through
I can't go on like this
I need your touch

You're the only one I ever loved

And as long as the stars shine down from the heaven
As long as the rivers run to the sea
I'll never get over you, getting over me

I'll never get over you, getting over

I'll never get over you getting over me...

Absolutely LOVE this song!

It was never meant to be... Right now, I'll find joys in all things except love. I'll enjoy my freedom while it lasts. Don't plan to fall into the same trap any time soon.

Then again, that's what everyone says... yet...

Gah, I'll stick to it for as long as I can. But I'll need all the help I can get.

"Falling out of love is the scariest thing a girl can experience"

I'm not in a hurry to go through the same thing a fourth time. =)

Thursday, 22 January 2009

Blehh...

Chinese New Year fever coming up. Gonna have dinner the night before, then exam on the bloody first day.

Performing this Saturday in Claris. Just a small-scale concert to prepare me for auditions. Cause we all know how nervous I am when it comes to playing solo. Showed Liu Jian the entry requirements for other Uni(s). I don't think I'm ready to venture overseas... The idea of being away from home is quite frightful.

I spent almost 2 hours purely on scales this morning. It's still not there yet. I think my ears are rusting. O_o

Survived Unit 4 of Eng Lit. Wasn't too bad, but tougher than what we'd expected. I just hope I didn't run off-topic. Apparently they only award A(s) to those with THE knack for writing. I don't think I have that. Therefore, I'd be content with a "B".

not.

Anyways, I just finished re-watching "Full House". I'm not a huge fan of Korean/Japanese dramas, but there's just something about this one. Funny and touching. Plus, the girl's pretty and the guy's not bad looking. Cute, I would say.

Icing on the cake: it' s a romantic comedy. =D

Generally:

Girl meets Guy. Girl gets into trouble. Guy helps her. Girl's friend sold her house to Guy. Girl begs Guy for her house. Guy uses Girl to make his love interest jealous. Guy kisses Girl in public. Guy forced to marry Girl. Girl suffers because she starts to like Guy. Guy doesn't realise HE likes her too. Guy's previous love interest starts to like him, Girl has another rich guy coming after her. Guy and Girl get a divorce.

Both realise they can't live without one another and end up together again.

Gonna die for Econs. I majorly screwed up Econs 3 and Eng Lit 2.

But what's more important is my auditions so... Screw AS la...


Why, is it that you still lurk in my memories? Haven't you tortured me enough???

BTW, to "he-who-shall-not-be-named", get a girl, and a life to go along with it. Whatever you're doing with your time at the mo' is sick and wrong.

Saturday, 17 January 2009

Changed my blog pic...

Bout time I changed it. The previous pic was beginning to look rather corny. Anyways, this is LOADS better. Gonna replace it soon though. As soon as I get my other pics organised. Heh.

Gonna die for Emma on Monday.

Going for concert tomorrow.

I CAN come back and study more but... Since when have I ever studied for NOVELS???

Just gonna wing it...

Anyone care to join me?

I've gone crazy and sent applications to about 15 universities all around the globe. =D

I'm free... finally. =)

Friday, 16 January 2009

Morrr Den Vords =D

LOVE this vid. It's so cute!!!

Love Guru is far from being my favourite movie, but I just love this particular scene. And Jessica Alba looks hot here so, I'm sure the guys won't complain... Right? >_o

I like the arrangement of the song too. =)



Enjoy...

Random

Brain juices have all been drained out of my head. As I'm incapable of blogging anything that makes sense, I'm just gonna cheat, and copy & paste some personality test thing I saw whilst browsing through Lu Ee's blog. You don't mind right, Lu Ee? =D

The comments below the analysis are my own. =)

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

I don't think some people like my straightforward-ness... =)

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Really?? I didn't know I'd do that... When do you know he/she's your true love, anyways? We all feel like we can't bear to lose our current boy/girlfriend, but when the big break-up happens, we're usually okay...

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you meet that person.

Serious??? Hope I meet that person sooN!

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

? I don't "approach" the opposite sex. As friends, maybe. But definitely not as in "I'm interested" or anything. Really...

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

IF the subject is interesting =D

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

YESH! SPOT ON!!!

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

Good advice. I should follow it, no?

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

*nods in silent agreement*

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

Not bad...

Further Analysis:

1. You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.

? Yeah sure... And they find it easier to fall for another girl as soon as they're done flirting with me. =P

2. You don't really care about other people's feelings. You do things the way you want and usually think only about yourself. You are easy-going and love to have fun, but you can be irresponsible as well. You are not keen on serious discussions because they can make you remember that life isn't always about parties.

"Don't care about other people's feelings."?? Am I that selfish? Irresposible sometimes, I agree. But Selfish??? Oh yes, I detest serious discussions...

3. You are a bright, cheerful and bubbly person.

You are thoughtful and considerate, and like to have fun. Everybody feels comfortable around you because of your pleasant nature. When you walk into a room, people's eyes are likely to be drawn to you because of your charm.

First you say I'm selfish, now I'm considerate? No, people's eyes get drawn to me because my appearance spoils the whole atmosphere. =D

4. Guys see you as being a thinker and a careful person. They will be really attracted to this quality in you, but you need to learn to speak your mind, otherwise people will find you too shy and quiet. Learn to relax and lighten up--it's okay to have fun sometimes. When you learn to develop your fun-loving side, guys are going to flock to your side.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm ALL about havin' fun =P

5. Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independant person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.

ah.... So it's back to "selfish" again. And I don't have a boyfriend. =D

Love Analysis?

You desire a love that will last forever. You are quite serious about finding this type of love, and that's why you think carefully about the men that you meet before deciding whether you could really love them. You don't just develop a crush on someone overnight: you look at a person's personality and other aspects of their life before deciding to form an attachment. If a guy doesn't meet your expectations, you would rather be alone. Your love has to be perfect. Be careful though, you could be missing out on some worthy relationships because your standards are so high.

I don't have the right to set such high standards now do I? But I have to admit, I AM picky with who I'm with.

Kind and Gentle

Your kindness is your charm - you are also gentle and sweet. Everybody likes to be around people with your personality. Like a psychologist, people like to talk to you to discuss their problems because you are proper and discrete, as well as confident. You look mature and people respect you. People with this kind of character are few and far between.

"Gentle and Sweet"??! Oh yeah... They bombared me with love issues VERY often. I'm 19 this year. My juniors think I look 16. O_o

Nosy Level: 70%

You may seem to be a nosy person to some people, but actually you are quite a serious person who's not at all interested in gossip. You just like to know what's going on around you. It's a natural interest and you can get offended when people tell you they think you're a sticky-beak.

YES! I just like to know what's going on around me! But if you bitch about me behind my back and I find out, don't be surprised if you find me bitching about you. =D

Jealousy Level: 45%

You harbor hidden feelings of jealousy

You easily get jealous of other people, but you manage to control your expressions and emotions. For instance, when a close friend tells you that she has met the man of her dreams, you might sincerely say to her "Congratulations!", but what you're really thinking is "You're so lucky! Why can't I be you?"

Haven't been in that situation before... But even if I do, I'd just laugh at the cliche-ness of the expression "Man of my dreams"

Weird. I'm just gonna practice now....

Thursday, 15 January 2009

I-hate-exams!!

First day of AS exams itself gave me a huge headache. Bloody fussy people... I swear, I've never felt so annoyed in my life.

Stupid woman. Yes, you're doing your job, but can't you consider what you're doing to the state of minds of the candidates??? Genius Edexcel.

"you're suppose to have CLEAN copies of your texts"

F*ck you la.

Dr Shalini already told us, as long as it's not paragraphs, it'll be fine. So we all had to wait a f*cking half an hour for our lecturers to help us erase our carefully written notes. It wasn't the lost of the notes that I was irritated with. It's the fact that my precious book would now have liquid paper marks on almost every page. I hate it when my book looks untidy.

As a result, many of us, including Choon Hui and Amanda, were severely vexed that they took our texts away. And therefore, I had a hard time trying to settle down as my text was still not returned to me when my paper started. I had to do Friel first because my Keats was still with Miss Grace. The minute she set the book back on my table, I quickly snatched it and browsed through the pages.

The damage has been done. I'll post up a picture of it once the exams are over. My book now looks SO ugly, I feel like a kindergarten-er who's got something against his teacher. O_o

Yes, I hate Keats. I often wished to tear the book into shreds myself. But it's a different thing to see a book in perfect condition be slashed all over with blanko marks. I tell you, I wanted to cry.

Questions were okay though. I didn't waste too much time choosing which essay to write on. It was pretty clear-cut which one would suit my style of writing. Though I'm a little worried about the structure of my essays as I didn't spend as much time drafting as I usually do.

Choon Hui: Aiyo.. The worst that can happen is we fail then retake lar!

I don't wanna retake any papers larrr.....

Oh F*ck.

Econs tomorrow.

Monday, 12 January 2009

Haircut

Got a haircut today, finally. My mom's been dying for a chance to drag me off to the hairstylist. Apparently, my hair was beginning to look so dreadful that mom actually threatened to use gardens shears on me. O_o

Anyways, it's really REALLY short now. Well, not THAT short. Shoulder-length. But it's short, considering the length it was BEFORE it was cut. Sis says I look okay though, so I guess I just gotta wait till it grows again...

It was depressing, I tell you. Sitting down there whilst I witness the hair stylist cut off huge chunks of my "crowning glory". Lol. I watched the stray strands fall around me and wonder why I let my mom talk me into trying a new hairstyle. Blehh...

Oi, the dude wanted me to do REBONDING alright?

Aunt suggested PERM.

Mom was thinking BOB-CUT!

In the end, I settled for one that the dude showed me off the cover of a magazine. I was worried that it might look horrible on me since, you know... models look nice in anything and err... I don't? =P

But it didn't turn out too bad.

I'll see if I can find an excuse to take a self-portrait with my new hairstyle. =)

Prom's coming up soon... Dress hunting, anyone?

If I can't find anything, I'll settle for a tux. (KIDDING!) If I can't find a dress, I'll just not go... =D (I can hear Choon Hui yelling at me already...=P)

Come What May...

I couldn't find a nice video based on the original movie, so here's one fan-made video of the scenes from Titanic, but with this song...





Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
Want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day I love you more and more


Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time

Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you
And there's no mountain too high
No river too wide
Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather
And stars may collide
But I love you until the end of time

Come what may

Come what may

I will love you until my dying day

Oh, come what may, come what may
I will love you, I will love you
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place

Come what may

Come what may

I will love you until my dying day

Saturday, 10 January 2009

...

I've put off blogging for awhile now... So many things went on between the Bali trip and now, don't think I can remember all of them in detail anymore.

It's fast approaching the second week of the new year, but yet I don't feel as if I've done anything remotely "different" compared to the last. I still feel the same, and I'm still doing the same things I did last year. (except the practicing part)

I STILL haven't started mugging for AS Levels, which starts next Wednesday. Well, that's probably because I'm only taking 2 subjects this term. Gotta revise "Emma" and "Translations" though. Not forgetting the ever looming Econs...

Why the F*** did I take A Levels for??

Oh yeah, cause I wouldn't qualify to audition for YST if I didn't.

Got a call from a Ms Chiam Hui Li a few days ago. Wanted to know when I would graduate from A Levels. Thankfully I'd finish it by June this year, or I wouldn't be able to join YST in August.

Plus, I'm f*cking pissed with my parents now. MPYO's starting their new season in March this year, and I F*cking can't go cause they smartly decided to bring us ALL to Bangkok for a holiday. HELLO??? I've got TRIALS coming up as well. I told them I won't go cause I don't wanna skip camp AND college. Their excuse is that they've already paid.

SO??? I'll Fucking pay you back!

Sorry, I'm just kinda bummed that they can be so inconsiderate sometimes.

It wouldn't be so bad if I only skipped the March camp, but there's a high chance that I won't even make it for the May camp cause my A Levels would most probably fall around that time.

F*ck.

Involuntarily, I still have the tendency to think about one that I should have long forgotten...