I Think I can do it. It's really not that difficult. At least I can look at it and laugh, instead of feeling tears building up as I did 2 days ago. I can honestly tell myself that, with time, I will be able to let go fully. I'll forget everything and move on.
It'll be easier once I don't see the subject of my depression.
It's 3.30 in the morning now so I may not be making sense at the mo'. I feel like venting out my feelings but I don't have anyone to tell them to. The one I can talk to is not here so, too bad. And the one I thought I could talk to is, well... Nuff said.
It doesn't hurt as much anymore though. That's a good thing right? I mean, technically, it doesn't hurt anymore. I just feel a dull ache in my chest whenever unwanted memories start cropping up. And whenever I start to dream or wish for a miracle, my brain immediately puts up a defense system which screams "NO!" and shakes the very idea away from my being.
You know what I need? I need a distraction. Something to keep my mind off what I think about 24/7. Thankfully, I'd be able to do that starting (hopefully) tomorrow onwards, when I can dive into the wonderful world of practicing. I'll cram all my energy into practice and studies so that I don't screw my life up any further.
It's pretty clear, what you're trying to do... but I'd like it if you'd talk to me and clear things up. I hate leaving it like this, cause it only proves how much of a coward you are.