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Monday, 30 April 2007

In a not-so-good mood...

Still sore from what happened yesterday. Tried practicing the violin earlier... Gave up half way. Maybe cause I didn't get much sleep last night, thanks to some smart fella who decided to further bug my happiness. ><

Anyways, here's what I've been listening to the whole morning...

It's tearing up my heart when I'm with you
But when we are apart, I feel it too
And no matter what I do, I feel the pain
with or without you

Baby I don't understand
Just why we can't be lovers
Things are getting out of hand
Trying too much, but baby we can't win...

-Tearing up My Heart-


Ocean's apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain

If I see you next to never
How can we say forever

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted, all the times
That I thought would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now

Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me going crazy

-Right Here Waiting-


If there's a prize for rotten judgement
I guess I've already won that
No man is worth the aggravation

That's ancient history-been there, done that!

Who'd'ya think you're kidding
He's the earth and heaven to you
Try to keep it hidden
Honey, we can see right through you
Girl, ya can't conceal it
We know how ya feel and
Who you're thinking of

No chance, no way
I won't say it, no, no

You swoon, you sigh,
Why deny it? Uh-oh!

It's too cliche
I won't say I'm in love

I thought my heart had learnt its lesson
It feels so good when you start out
My head is screaming get a grip, girl
Unless you're dying to cry your heart out...

-I won't Say I'm In Love-

Says it all dunnit? HAHA! I'm dying alright... Dying to let it all go, drop it like a bombshell.

Sunday, 29 April 2007

Don't put anything sharp near me...

In a real vicious mood right now... Gonna start screaming into my pillow real soon. Wish I never... *Bangs head against table*

I'm back.

Nothing makes sense to me now... Nothing. Whatever he says, it just drives me up the wall. So much that I'd rather he didn't say anything. I'm not a f-ing diary which you write all your problems in and throw away once you're happy again. I've got feelings AND problems of my own. So when I have them, at least have the courtesy to listen to them no matter how trivial the matter might be.

I want to give up already... I thought there might've been a chance.. Another shot at what was taken away so suddenly. I really wanna give up... I nearly did. Then just that one day, he HAD to throw it all back at me. Now I'm starting to have sleeping problems again, thanks to annoying thoughts that drug my days and haunt my nights.

God, gotta go shopping for Tess' present tomorrow...

Okay, I'm in no condition to type anymore than I already have. Hope the dude actually stumbles across this blog so he knows how much I'm suffering. -_-;

P/S: Why is there always one thing that stops me from completely letting it go?

Start of a new year...

Damn colourful ne? LOoVEEe this pic!!


The castle's pink... *Looks away in disgust* Like the fireworks though.

LOL! Looks as if someone's throwing glitter from the castle. Wonder if it's cinderella up there...


Overall, it was the best display of fireworks I've ever seen in my ENTIRE life!
P/S: Too bad those in my heart are dying down... -_-;


I now officially hate Sundays...

Yup, violin class sucked REAL badly... Haven't played this pathetically in a long while. Mom thinks I don't practice the right way, Ms. Vira reckons I hardly practiced this 2 weeks... I BLOODY DID PRACTICE ALRIGHT?!! I might be getting bored of the piece though. Been playing NOTHING apart from that stupid concerto.. Fine, the piece isn't stupid, but who the f- won't get bored of playin' the same piece for 5 months???

I don't even like practicing the violin. To be honest with myself, I NEVER liked it. The practice, I mean. I like playing on the violin in a group... It's just the practice I can't stand. Unlike when it comes to the piano, I like playing the piano. Therefore, I will automatically want to practice. Violin? Hell, I only do it cause my mom wants me to. Sheesh...

Anyways, my mom asked me just now if I wanted to quit. (In the car on the way home...) I didn't answer. Mom's getting fed up. Says she doesn't wanna finance my lessons anymore if I don't put my heart into it. Dad says I'm too emotionless when playing. I can't help it if I'm shy now can I? *Sigh* I tried alright... but apparently my body doesn't do whatever my mind tells it to.. -_-;

After that, my mom asked me to give an answer before she leaves the house. (She's goin to watch the Olivia Newton John's concert in Genting.) Couldn't get the problem outta my head. If I quit, my mom will be heartbroken and my future would be less bright (it's already dim to start out with...) but if I continue, means I'll have to force myself to practice and sacrifice more sleep or my studies would take a drop as well...

Anyhoo, my answer was to continue. Show's how stupid I am doesn't it? And someone whom I thought would be able to help with my dilema is NOT helping at all.

P/S: DBSK- Ko mayo...
I'm in love with you, just like old days...

Saturday, 28 April 2007

Random anime pics XP

That's it... I'm gonna try and draw this. (Just hopefully I don't ruin it. LOL!)


Autumn Dream... If only this stupid country had 4 seasons..



-BLACK CAT (Train Heartnet)-
Told you he looks damn cute =P



I like the cool, watery feeling when I see this pic... A sense of calmness..






found this pic online while I had nothin' to do...

Blehh... I'm a violinist too.. But looking nowhere as pretty *Sighs* Love the violin.

Saturday morning... Got nothing to do...

Blehh... I'm blogging while waiting for the stupid video to finish downloading...

Okay, fine. The video is not stupid. But the downloading speed is SO SLOW!!! Oh well, it's partially my fault I didn't catch the first few episodes. Wasn't very interested at first, then once I saw the 5th ep. (I think)... I was hooked. Yea sure, it's an anime -Black Cat- Hey, we have to have a little bit of childish-ness once in awhile. I know ADULTS who still get hooked onto anime(s) la...

Anyhoo... (It's NOT a spelling error) was watching the DBSK's concert the other day... a birthday present from a friend actually. Dunno where the dude got it from, but it's DAMN nice! (Karisa: Arigato, Ken-kun!) And may I conclude that Yun Ho looked as hot as ever? HAHA! (Louisa: Oh god...) Oi, at least I don't call him a "Hottie hot hottie" right? Just for your info, that's what my sis calls Micky (another DBSK dude). Max is real cute too, so is Xiah... Sorry, but Hero just looks like a girl. -_-;

Been a fan since I saw them in an advertisement on TV. Begged my dad to take us to their concert, bought their CDs... They're really good, though my mom obviously disagrees. (Mom: I really cannot comprehend why you all can stand that kind of noise.) They've got nice slow songs as well larr... And their voices are like... *Sighs*

Sorry. I'm a bit of an idiot when it comes to DBSK. Not that I'm obsessed (I don't have their pictures stuck in every corner of my room), just that I think they're real good. Hey, it's not everyday you come across a group of 5 who can sing, dance and look good while doing it. =P Not only that, but Micky speaks english too. (Explains why my sis is so in love with him no?)

Okay, enough about them...

*Kent: blehh... gays..
Me: They are NOT gay!!

Grr... don't know what to type anymore... My brains' are malfunctioning. *Frowns* Here's the remaining half of "Looking Through Your Eyes"...

I see a night I wish could last forever,
I see a world we're meant to see together.
And it is so much more than I remember..
More than I remember...
More than I have known...

Here in the night,
I see the sun,
Here in the dark,
our two hearts are one.

Its out of our hands,
we can't stop what we have begun,
And love just took me by surprise,
looking through your eyes..

Looking through your eyes

P/S: Wishing I could just grab a time turner from Hermione and go back another 10 yrs... Sheesh

Thursday, 26 April 2007

Lol... Random post..

I am bloody tired out. Honestly, not like I'm some robot who can recharge my batteries WHILE operating... Sheesh. Spent the whole day studying AND teaching my siblings. Well, not so much my sis since she's pretty independant. Unlike my brother who doesn't even know what "reconstruction" means. -_-;

Did Bio and moral today... Managed to cover the first 4 chapters of Bio form 4 and memorized half the "Nilai(s)" for moral. Hopefully I can do well in the mid-year exams. I'm gonna flunk Chemistry though, seeing that my tuition teacher isn't helping very much... Blehh

Anyways, after getting a 1/2 hour break, I practiced the piano (exam's at the end of May) then ran upstairs when I realised it was already 7p.m. (Hey, I ain't gonna miss Black Cat again alright) And that's pretty much all... Cause I ain't goin into details regarding the time when my mom started complaining bout how short my practice time was.

And now I'm sitting here, letting my mind wander around aimlessly while chatting with a certain person who will be starting to give me lectures on a certain err... "Problem" I'm currently facing.

Oohh!! I finally found the songs I've been dying to get since what... Last year? It's from a movie actually-- Quest for Camelot. LOVE the songs. Especially "Looking Through Your Eyes"... Meaningful... To me, that is... Heh. Anyhoo, here's the first part of the song:-

Look at the sky tell me what do you see,
Just close your eyes and describe it to me,
The heavens are sparkling with starlight tonight,
That's what I see through your eyes..

I see the heavens each time that you smile,
I hear your heartbeat just go on for miles,
And suddenly I know why life is worthwhile,
That's what I see through your eyes...

Here in the night,
I see the sun,
Here in the dark,
Our 2 hearts are one...

It's outta our hands,
We can't stop what we have begun..

And love just took me by surprise,
Looking through your eyes....

Nice huh? Love the movie too... Mixture of fantasy, romance, comedy, action.. HAHA! And animation too! I'm not surprised I liked the songs since most of them were David Foster's compositions. Heh.

Anyways, I gotta go practice... Again. This time on the violin. Great, my shoulder's gonna hurt like hell cause I didn't bring my shoulder rest back from my grandparents' place. Wonderful memory of mine... *Frowns*

P/S: If you see me like this, and if I see you like that... It was gone with the wind but it's
all coming back to me now...

Sunday, 22 April 2007

Best Birthday of the Century... And I mean it literally=P

OMG!!! Last Saturday has got to be one of the best birthdays I could ever ask for! First was the ICC performance. We were still VERY uptight during rehearsals, and were damn nervous before we went on stage, but everything turned out GREAT! We even got second place! HAHA! We were so ridiculously happy and were all jumping on stage while receiving the prize. Seriously, I was surprised we actually won something.

After that, a whole series of unfortunate events occured... I won't go into details, but I was starting to think my day had begun to turn sour. Thankfully, it didn't go as far as ruining my day and I spent the rest of the night calling everyone under the sun to thank them for their thoughtfullness... and their presents too of course! I particularly liked the cards. They were so touching I nearly cried!

Anyways, I was in for a surprise the next day... Something (Or rather, someone) told me some quite startling news. I won't say what it is, but I was surprised. VERY surprised. And shocked. Didn't expect it at all. So much for moving on huh? I just landed right smack at where I was 5 months ago. On the 20th of October 2006. *Sighs* Guess talking the talk and walking the walk ARE 2 very different things and can't be done so easily.

That's all about the weekend...

Received the latest gift from someone today. Lol... Had to WALK out to get it. Blehh... No school tomorrow, that's why I'm in Cheras. YAY! Can play on the Stagea tomorrow =P

Anyways, technically I'm not "legally" online so I think I'd better start work or my mom will skin me alive ><


P/S: If my decision 3 months ago was right... Why do I feel like an idiot?

Sunday, 8 April 2007

First post... heh

Heck, since I don't come online often... Heehee. I'm supposed to be doing research for extinction of white tigers for some dumb EST presentation but. *smiles innocently* Hey, I DID get the info alright. Just that I wanted to savour the opportunity being able to be online. Hehe ^_^ Not MY fault I don't have a comp with me all the time right? *Glares pointedly at my dad*

Oh, and I forgot to mention earlier... Had an orchestra performance yesterday. Made plans with "Auntie" to send me to school AND pick me up. Damn the stupid Prize Giving Ceremony.

Anyways, I reached school at around 7.10a.m. I was the only idiot wearing that horrible chef-life-japanese-kungfu master- of a robe carrying my violin case (which can pass for a gun bag or something) and my bag containing my precious i-pod and extra t-shirt. (Hey, I ain't gonna wander around school with that horrible green cloth on me after the performance) Thankfully, my juniors started arriving before I had to endure too many stares so it wasn't THAT unbearable. I was VERY tempted to glare at this one girl who looked like she's never seen anything so green in her life. Sheesh.

Rachel and Yen Li arrived few minutes before 7.30a.m. and we made our way to the orchestra room. Having dumped our bags there, we carried the keyboards to the hall. Yen Li and Rachel carrying their own keyboard while I carried both their stands. Three of us glared daggers at those oh-so-macho dudes who just stood there watching us struggle to get those huge things on that dumb platform thingy my "wonderful" headmistress installed EXCLUSIVELY for the orchestra. Pfft, like as if we don't get enough exercise climbing the numerous stairs around school. She HAD to stuff 2 more steps in our lives.

The performance was alright. Aiman and I played "Happy Birthday" for Datuk Wong -me on the piano, Aiman on the violin- Originally I was supposed to play the violin too, but the "Prime Minister" woman hadn't come so I had to do her dirty work. Thankfully I could do it spontaneously. Or Datuk Wong would have had a very memorable birthday indeed. Horrible pianist and an amateur violinist to ruin his day.

We finished earlier than scheduled so Yen Li, Rachel and I, whose transport accesses weren't as flexible as compared to our fellow school mates, sat in the canteen chit-chatting bout nothing in particular while I downed 2 ice-creams one after the other. Heehee. Hey, I didn't have breakfast okay. A girl's gotta eat ya' know...

"Auntie" came at precisely 12.45p.m. I left school without much regret of leaving Rachel and Yen Li behind =P Went home, ate and watched this movie bout the President's daughter desperate for a normal life and ended up falling in love with her dad's Secret Service Agent. Typical romance story. I came close to puking at one point... The girl's pretty though. The dude was too muscular for my taste, but not too ugly.

After the movie, I packed my stuff prior to the arrival of the taxi man at 3p.m. sharp. My grandpa, being the anxious person that he is, was already sitting near the door, shooting me with the usual questions: finish packing ah? Make sure you take all your things. What time is the fella coming? Your daddy has his phone number or not? Mummy's friend ah that one?

*Sighs* I wasn't raped or anything la. Though he DID ask me where to turn next XD. HAHA! Hey, my sense of direction is in the pits, but I DO know the way back to my own house without having to go through the Sahara Desert.

Whoa, I think I've typed more than enough. My mental system is shutting down... Buh Bye =)