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Saturday, 8 December 2007

B.C. Gathering in Mid Valley...

Yup, yet another annual gathering of us 5SF mates. Woke up early to squeeze in a practice session before I ran off. THEN I had to pay a visit to Claris to help my mom out with the putting up of the "Chop" boards. (It's actually a list of names of my mom's students decorated nicely for them to put on stamps whenever they play well) I nearly fell flat on my face at one point. Managed to keep my face intact by quickly grabbing the side of an electone, but in turn, got a nice blue-black mark on my leg. Still hurts when I apply pressure on it.

Anyways, I reached Mid Valley at around 11.45a.m. Met Sam, Kent and Shiuann (who turned up unexpectedly) at GSC to decide on which movie to watch. Shiuann went off to eat while I waited for the 2 idiots at the side. =P

We walked around for a bit after purchasing the tickets. Then Dao Zhong came. I spotted him talking on the phone with Sam. Ju Ween was still stuck in KLCC with her dad. Shiuann, as usual made a beeline for the golf section in Studio R. Was commenting about the shoes, the clothes, the golf clubs... etc.

The movie (We watched "The Golden Compass") wasn't as good as I'd hoped. Storyline was interesting, but the special effects were... not special. For those who have watched Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings or Narnia would probably fall asleep halfway. I almost did. Not that the acting was third class or mediocre in anyway, but it was just so typical of the fantasy genre that nothing surprised me.

Anyhoo, a BIG drama unfolded right after we exited the cinema. I won't say exactly what (to give some respect to *a-hem* ...some people) The whole scenario really got me irritated and the "Person in concern" was literally treading on my last nerves. Thankfully my patience level has increased greatly in comparison to a few years ago, so I grit my teeth and swallowed it all.

Despite the few disturbances, I had quite a fun time with them. Sam and Kent are as wacky as usual, and Dao Zhong still "protects" me like the big brother he is. The bond we all have really can't be explained. Haha! The weird-ness of our friendship, more like.

Kent left around 5 minutes before I did. Within the last few minutes, Sam, Dao Zhong and I snapped a couple o' pictures with the Christmas decor in the Centre Court. The lights were really pretty.

Reached home at about 5.45p.m. and related the day's events to my nosy-poker of a sis and bro, had dinner, watched a dance show, talked to my parents about my "future" then made a card for Ms. Vira. Tomorrow shall be my last lesson with her. I'm starting with a collegue of hers, Liu Jian. Also from MPO, but I shall be learning with her privately. It's not that Ms Vira is not good enough, just maybe I can't absorb much of what she asks me to do. AND she tends to slant towards the show-off-ish kinda pieces when the last thing I want to do is play technical stuff. I ain't got the confidence to show-off in the first place...

Wokee, I shall finito here. Hopefully I can find time to blog tomorrow. Anyong!

P/S: I STILL love Yun Ho and his funky dance moves!

Monday, 3 December 2007

Tired and sleepy...

Went to Genting Highlands for a few hours yesterday... My parents, aunt and a friend dumped my siblings and I at the arcade centre with 150 bucks to play our hearts out. Almost literally. We changed 50 into tokens to play that coin thingy... (I don't know whatcha call it officially) Then raced other players-car racing- (I won, twice) Then went on to shooting hoops. Heehee.. My sis scored the best, I depended mostly on luck (I shot nearly 5 goals non-stop) my bro could hardly get on to stage 2. Heh.

After that, we all went for dinner at the Coffee Terrace. Quite a posh restaurant... We had a buffet dinner. Boy, we all felt so rojak after sinking our teeth in so many varieties of delicacies. I started with sushi appetizers, then some japanese fried rice and sate as main courses. Went on to some Chinese soup and fried chicked wings. I felt it was enough, so I got started on desert. 2 scoops chocolate and 1 scoop vanilla, jelly, cake and fruits to wrap it all up. If ya think that's a lot, yer should've seen how much my dad and sis were eating. Dish after dish after dish...

I was quite queasy after all the food. The jokes my parents cracked along the way did NOT help. My mom especially. She doesn't crack jokes often, most of the time, they're more like accidents. My bro had visited the toilet and told us that it ws filthy. A waitress chose a very untimely moment to ask my mom 'coffee or tea?' And my mom answered 'toile..'

Yea, she very nearly said toilet.

Unfortunately, that was already enough to make us all double over in laughter. Even the waitress started giggling. My sis was literally falling off her seat. Anyways, when we finally managed to compose ourselves, we checked into a hotel room and rested awhile.

Around half an hour later, my siblings were getting a little restless so we head for the arcade again to shoot a few hoops. My dad called to announce that we were going to head home, so we left the arcade and met with the rest of my family at the hotel lobby.

The ride home was torture. Not only it was uncomfortable, (I was squashed at the backseat with my sis and aunt), the air pressure blocked my ears so I had to keep blowing my nose to rid my ears of the aching sensation.

Alright, I'm currently hooked up to downloading songs so I'll sign off now. Ja-ne!

P/S: Curse the idiot that got to go for Live n Loud KL for free...

Wednesday, 28 November 2007

Oh my god... It's finally over!!

Blehh... It's been awhile... Finished the drasted SPM 2 days ago. Blasted Bio... HAD to make me miss DBSK's concert. I swear, if they don't come next year... I would fly to Korea and give Yun Ho a piece of my mind. Seriously, what kinda boyfriend stages a concert when his girlfriend can't attend??

Ok, I was being lame. But I was REALLY looking forward to going for their concert. I miss their live performances... An article was published in the Star paper yesterday... Said their concert rocked. As usual. =P

Anyhoo, back to the happenings in M'sia... I've been goin out these 2 days non-stop. Monday was Sunway Piramid, yesterday- One Utama, then today I shall be goin out with my mom and siblings. Tomorrow, I shall crash in Tess's humble abode. She's currently asking me what we're gonna do there, but frankly speaking, I have got no friggin idea. Heh...

Was fun yesterday... Watched "Beowulf" (I didn't really like it. Too gruesome for my taste -_-;), ate lunch at Secret Recipe (Their lasagna is as good as ever) then did some stupid pictures in one of the pic booths. Major cam-whoring wei... Then after that, we walked around. Then it was time for me to dissappear. (Meaning I had to go home)...

My aunt gave me some new piano pieces to learn yesterday the minute I came home. Like she couldn't wait to gimme a reason to go to the piano and play. I didn't mind though... Haven't been doing any serious practice for at least 5 months. Heck, I've hardly practiced this whole year la..

Okay, I shall work on posting my graduation photos the next time I'm blogging. First, I gotta wrench them off Fiona's hands. =P


Saturday, 20 October 2007

It's one o those days you wish you didn't exist...

This is by far the first time I’ve ever bothered voicing out my thoughts. I’m only doing this because I’m quite certain that no one reads my blog anyways.

I know I always try to keep a “cool” profile… The never wavering cold ‘air’ I always carry around. My usual indifference to whatever that’s being thrown at me. I’m forever avoiding the truth, never wanting to face facts. Constantly holding onto thin threads of hope for something impossible. I’m actually left feeling very lonely all the time. Even when I have a cheery smile on my face, my inner self is sometimes bursting in agony. Finally when I give up fighting, I succumb to tears.

It hasn’t been so bad these few months. Apart from the usual exam stress and a certain someone who pops outta nowhere once in awhile, my life has been pretty stable.

Kinda emo-ing now cause I just had some very unpleasant flashbacks earlier. Done with studying for tonight. Happy times came back to taunt me, unpleasant moments returned to haunt me. And I thought I’d forgotten all the pain I’d been forced to go through. Was wondering why I complain so much bout how sucky my life is while there are kids everywhere who are homeless.

I feel like such an ungrateful scumbag.

I really admire those who can really not feel anything. I envy my friends who don’t have boyfriends/friendship problems plaguing their minds. I’m jealous of them who have their whole future planned and mapped out. I feel a great stab of pain when one of my friends turn their backs on me and pretend I’m not there. I hate it when you claim I’m your “bestie”, yet you don’t give a hoot about me. I want to slap those who come running to me with the same old sob stories about boyfriend problems. I can’t stand it when you bitch about your own friend to me behind his/her back. I wanna knock some sense into those big fat liars who say outrageous things to be in the limelight. I despise the feeling of being pushed away by those I once thought were my friends. I get all confused when my feelings are accumulated and messed up. I hate the fact that I don’t know how to control my emotions. I don’t understand why I can’t bring myself to pour my feelings out to someone verbally. Then again, I don’t have anyone who I can rely on. At least, not one of my own age. I’ve got superb parents whom I love with all my heart, but I’m not about to bother them with my stupid, petty teenage problems. I tend to cry when I’m telling someone about how I’m feeling. And I hate crying in front of people, even if it’s only one person. I hate to show my weak side. But I wish I could. I wish to the high heavens that I had the guts to cry on someone’s shoulder and dump my worries aside.

I’ve got no one else to blame but myself. I’m the selfish one, only thinking about my personal gains. Always me, me, me… I’m an inconsiderate, arrogant fool. I’m not even worth the attention I’m given. I deserve to be thrown aside and looked down upon.

I should exist as an empty shell.

Anyhoo, coming back to reality...

Parents are still in Shanghai... Dad msg-ed me yesterday and told us that they bought a lotta stationary sets and so far have bought me a pair of pants. (That second statement left my bro and sis seething with jealousy.. =P)

Studied Sejarah earlier, then practiced piano... Gotta do violin later. I skived off 2 days already. Don't wanna get rusty just after good feedback from Ms. Vira the other day. I haven't been listening to rubbish. Hence, my intonation improved.

Okay, gotta get crackin'. Cyazz...

P/S: I ain't dying anytime soon. Not till I meet Yun Ho. XD

Tuesday, 16 October 2007

Back in P.J.

I hate those who come running to me with petty boyfriend problems. Honestly, what do you think I am? I ain't some rubbish bin where you dump all your sorrows in. Not that they're worth the bother anyway. If yer boyfriend is cheating on you, simple. Break-up with him.

Don't give me all that sob story bout how you can't bear to let go cuz you love him so much. A guy who cheats on you is not worth moping over. Just dump him like a hot sack of potatoes. I warned you since the start to not fall so deep. But no... you didn't fall alright... you PLUNGED.

Girls. Honestly. Why do we have to be the ones emo-ing all the time? Guys emo too, but they don't go running to their friends and start moaning about how they miss their ex-es do they?

I don't ever go crying to anyone. I do that in private. Behind closed doors. And after I do that, I don't shout around about how miserable I am. Even if I were feeling miserable, I'd put on a convincing smile and go about my own business. I keep everything bottled up inside. Not even my closest friends know about my "problems". Because I don't find it worth wasting my time/saliva on.

I'm going on a boy-cott from now on till at LEAST after SPM. No way am I gonna get involved in a "relationship" few weeks before my exams. Not like there are guys interested anyway.No guy in their right frame of mind would like me larr... I'm too...

I'm just me.

Alright, I've ran outta things to write. Had a real busy day. (Went to KLCC for my lesson then to Low Yat Plaza then to Gardens. =P) Tatta!

P/S: Mom, dad... Have a good trip. =)

Monday, 15 October 2007

Happy Birthday Shobz...

Been awhile since I've blogged about anything. Lazy larr... Haven't been doing much. Went to the Pavillion yesterday with the whole family. Bought a couple o things... Mom was scouting around for a big luggage bag. The stuff there are really overpriced and none of the shops there sold non-branded goods. Shopping area for rich people, mostly. Don't think I'll be going back there anytime soon.

Just came back from badminton an hour ago. Gonna go to a family friends' house first then head off to Gardens. The one near Mid Valley, yea.

Or is it next to?

Blehh... I couldn't be bothered. Fed up with going to posh places which display unaffordable stuff to us average-living beings. What's the point of looking when you know you'll never have the money to buy it?

Anyways, today's "badminton" was by far the worst I've ever experienced. My bro and sis each brought 2 of their own friends. As usual, I was the babysitter. My bro's friend was busy showing off the entire time while my sis' friends couldn't play to save their lives. Needless to say, I was bored outta my mind. Ended up whacking the shuttle against the wall... On my own.

We ate then showered after that. My oh-so-smart bro HAD to grab 3 lockers, therefore resulting the girls not having a locker. (Non-members are not allowed lockers. Since my bro took 3, the rest of us were left with nothing) Smart ass... So we settled the prob by taking in turns to bathe and change, having at least 1 person watching over our things. Mainly my handphone and wallet= my life line.

ANyhoo, I gotta go hit the books now. I'll probably post a few more times these 2 weeks. After that, yer ain't hearin' from me fer at LEAST a month. Ciaozz!

P/S: Loneliness knows me by name...

Friday, 5 October 2007

Major exam in about a month's time...

I have absolutely no idea why I'm still not motivated to study. I mean, not that I don't, but I'm not really into it or anything. That's a bad sign isn't it? I wanna do well, but somehow I feel as if I'm not working hard enough for it.

Another day wasted away yet again... Woke up really early this morning and went to Bkt Jalil. Badminton from 7.40-9.45a.m. Tired me out like crap. My arm is still aching from swinging it so much. And my brother simply doesn't let "Oi! Don't whack so high la!" sink into his brain. He just LOVES high serves.

Was the same old story for my sis... She serves... My bro hits back... She misses. =P

Came back home, ate lunch, studied, then slept for awhile to be rid of the painful muscle pulls. Woke up at around 4.30p.m. Helped my mom with her JMC class coursework. (She needed to "lend my ears") Ate dinner at 5.30p.m... I was hungry.

Went out to the park and played badminton again. Saw the "hot" girl there... The minute I saw her, I started the "hot girl alert". Bro and sis started laughing. Just hope we don't see her again tomorrow in the pasar malam. The sight of her either makes me lose my appetite, or my food will all come back out...


Anyways, random pics I took last night with my sis in the park and at home. Major cam-whoring wei...


Thursday, 4 October 2007

Another day in Paradise... *Sighs*

Haven't been doing much studying these few days. My brains are still suffering the after effects of studying till late at night. Brainless teachers HAD to put our exams one after the other. To make matters worse, they shoved the diagnostic tests right smack in the middle of our exams. The hell, who cares about diagnostic tests?? The questions are so easy you could do them in your sleep!

Anyways, forgot to mention an addition to my house last Tuesday. My parents bought a treadmill. Heh... It's up in the 3rd living room. I thought the place would be cramped up after putting the treadmill there, but it actually made it seem more spacious. Tried it on friday and saturday. Worked up a sweat within 10 minutes, and I finished the 30-min programme. Reckon I've never felt so sweaty in my life.

Pretty laid-back today. Woke up at around 10a.m. after my mom started lecturing about not wasting the morning away. Ate breakfast-roti telur. I was cursing the roti-telur dude while I was eating it. (Mom ordered 3 non-bawang and 1 bawang but he gave us the exact opposite-3 bawang and 1 non-bawang) Smart huh?

After that, I practiced the violin till my mom's student came. Switched on the laptop to download stuff. And now I'm blogging while waiting for my dad's download to finish. Quite lifeless, but I'd much rather do this than fill my brains with more info.

Managed to find quite a number of DBSK videos within these 2 weeks. Their acting skills are not bad. Not hollywood standard of course, but good enough to keep me entertained. It might be because I'm a fan, but really, they're not bad at all. Plenty of humor involved as well.

Okay, my "Dad asked me to download his stuff" excuse is no longer valid. Gotta skitter. Cioaz!

P/S: Dong Bang Shin Ki, sarang eui yo...

Wednesday, 3 October 2007

At last, no school for a week...

Thanks to PMR, I'm off for the whole week. Can enjoy for a bit now.. Till my results come out. Blehh... I detest the idea of having to sit down and study again after a full 4 weeks of slaving my arse off. I meant it LITERALLY. Bloody papers are so agonizingly long and the chair ain't exactly cushioned. -_-'

Wonderful, wonderful SPM...

Oh-so-great SPM...

Life-deciding SPM...


Go-to-hell SPM.

It's not only that I gotta be deprived of my much needed rest, I'm missing DBSK's concert! I've been dying the whole year to see them "live" again. It's a very different thing to see them on TV and go crazy in the stadium with all the other fans. The excitement you feel is ten-fold! And it's not like they're a couple of talent-less pretty boys prancing about the stage. They write their own songs and choreograph their dance routines. 3 of them play the piano and Yun Ho's a professional dancer. Thankfully I went for their concert last year or I'd really be depressed now.

Anyways, Nurlina msg-ed me last night and said the ticket pricing is really high this time. RM100-500. The place we sat at last year is goin' for RM240 this time. That's double of last year's price. I suppose the manager's taking advantage of their popularity. At least it's nowhere near the ridiculously over-priced tickets of Rain's concert last year. The highest was RM745. HELLO?? He's ONE solo performer, not a group. On top of that, he can't sing THAT well and his songs sound about the same. Yeah sure, he's got a great body but hey, talent people... talent. That's what counts. Though of course, most girls would beg to differ, but everyone's entitled their own opinion no?

Oka, I shall scoot for now.

P/S: Despite the horrible timing, I shall remain a loyal fan of DBSK... =P

Saturday, 29 September 2007

Can't go for DBSK's concert... Blehh

Can't believe I can't go... Stupid SPM. Now I've got a stone-solid reason to despise SPM. Bloody no logic punya time-table. Why can't they finish off the exams on Friday?? Then I can go for the concert on Saturday. But no, they HAD to put the blasted Bio paper on Monday.

Got into a huge argument with my dad on Monday. Reckon it's the first time I've ever yelled at him. Not that I'd die without seeing DBSK, but I just didn't understand why he wouldn't let me go! Hello?? I have the whole of Sunday to study right? What really pissed me off was that he said flat out "no" the minute I voiced the question. At least have the courtesy to explain first, then perhaps I wouldn't have over-reacted. The tone of voice he was using really got on my nerves. I got so annoyed I haven't talked to him at all the whole week. I'm alright with my mom though. SHE seemed to understand better than my dad.

Dad was planning on taking us actually. Again, thanks to my beloved SPM... (Voice dripping with sarcasm)

Anyways, back to more cheerful happenings... Went to my aunt's church for their monthly youth gathering. Movie, this time-Drumline. When we got there, I saw my old Kuen Cheng school mate, Joel. I couldn't remember him at first, but when I saw his face clearly, I remembered the scrawny-looking kid that used to run around the school during reccess. Haha! Made friends with this dude from Sri KL- Johnston. And a girl who came with her brother and parents to visit Gramps when he was in the hospital took my e-mail add and phone number.

Movie was cool. It's about this dude who's into drumming but thinks he's the best. He is, actually, but he doesn't believe in teamwork. He gets kicked out at one point, everything works out in the end. Didn't quite like the language though, quite vulgar and rude.

Anyhoo, I'll scoot now. Tired already as it is, having to put up with both my siblings in my room for the whole night. Ciaoz!

Saturday, 8 September 2007

Exams are KILLING ME!!!

I'm mentally, physically AND emotionally drained... Sejarah was horrible. My wonderful friend said teacher hinted that Tamadun and Mesopotamia would come out, therefore I spent the WHOLE night goin through form 4 stuff but guess what...


Oh, and this weekend was the worst ever. Went to leisure mall to get my books, and I got accused of stealing this one Korean guy's Japanese album. I tell you, I was effing pissed. Some god damn ass**** must have put the damn thing in my bag. Hello?? I haven't even heard of the singer be4. Gimme at least ONE good reason why the EFF would I wanna steal it. Even if I wanted it THAT badly, I wouldn't stoop as low as to steal it la. And another thing... I'm no 3-year-old. I know perfectly well there're surveilance cameras around and when you walk out, there's a scanner thingy which checks for stolen goods. So WHY THE HELL would I even try. And on top of that, I wasn't even running away from the store when the thing beeped. If I had really stolen something, I would be bloody sprinting off right? Bloody EFFING lady was insulting me to my face, I tell you, I was damn tempted to hit her lights out. Then when I asked her to show me the surveilance recordings, she said it was spoilt. So no proof. WHAT KINDA EXCUSE IS THAT???!!

My siblings also thought it was completely outrageous. I've never stolen ANYTHING in my life. So why the f*** would I wanna start now? My sis was with me the entire time, so she would've noticed if I put the CD in my bad right? And thank god I had the receipt for this DBSK CD I bought last week from the same place in my wallet. The effing woman was gonna say I stole that one as well. Bloody *inserts alternative for "female dog" here*

The whole incident was so dumb. I had to pay RM60.50 for something I didn't want. She said if I don't buy it, it would be 3 times the price. I tell you, if I had the money for it, I would tell her to keep the damn CD and I'll pay the 180 bucks. At least it'll prove my innocence. Unfortunately, I only had 80 bucks at the time, so yea...

I didn't tell my parents bout the whole thing. Didn't want them to doubt me. My siblings agreed to keep it to themselves too.

Okay, enough depressing stories. I gotta eat ma lunch, brother's nagging the living daylights outta me. Heh. Ciaozz..


Friday, 24 August 2007


Oh god... Trials are in a week's time. I'm dead. Somebody book me a place in the cemetery? I'll be there in about a week's time.

Anyways, I'm not in the mood to type anything, so I'll let pictures speak for themselves.

Went to the Badminton Quarter Finals to watch Lee Yong Dae-Jung Jae Sung and Koo Kien Keat-Tan Boon Heong play. The Korean pair won but the M'sian pair didn't. They fought valiantly though. I suppose it was the pressure of being the second seeds...

Don't ask me what was I thinking... I was just bored outta my mind.

Went to the TTDI library last week with Rachel to study Bio.

The library is pretty big, lotsa books. I had to grit my teeth to refrain from launching myself at those books. They looked so tempting....

Took a pic of my Bio books when we were having a break. Ha-ha!

Okay, that's pretty much all. Apart from hearing some tone-deaf people sing "Happy Birthday" at some cafe last night. It wasn't so bad after that. This guy set-up a keyboard on stage and started singing while playing. He went off-key occasionally, but his playing was good and his voice sounded somewhat soothing. My sis started whining and wanted to go home but my dad insisted for us to stay awhile longer. I was secretly smiling beneath my usual indifferent expression cause it's not everyday you get to see a talented guy who can sing and look good doing it. Well, not in M'sia anyway. The guy was kinda cute =P

Anyways, I gotta make a move now. Going for MPYO's concert later this evening with my parents. Ciaoz!

P/S: I hate guys who try and rush things, it gets on my nerves...

Saturday, 11 August 2007

Another week... Gone

It's been awhile since I've been able to blog about anything. Not that there's much to blog about, seeing that my life has been nothing but study, study and more study...

To cut the long story short, currently, my life = living hell. Welcome to the world of the undead, where we suck the fun out of everything and do nothing and see nothing but books. And I don't mean story books. School books...

School is a fun-sucking institution, the classroom is a fun-sucking torture chamber and school teachers are... Fun suckers. =P

At least, some of them are... When I don't feel like listening to life-long lectures like,
"You irresponsible children ah... How you orang boleh cari suami later? Boleh cari oso one day he sure lari wan!"
I just conveniently tell my grandma: Teachers won't be teaching tomorrow, so I'll just study at home. Heehee... XP

Well, technically I'm not lying or anything. Cuz whenever that woman goes into "Lecture" mode, we just pretend she's not there. So really, no diff. Come on, you actually expect me to sit there and listen to what she says about: Marraige is a commitment! Do you think you punya husband can stand the house looking like you just bombed it??

I'm telling you, I pity her kids. ESPECIALLY her daughter/son-in-law. Weird scenes are forming in my head...

I thought I told you to cook?? This is what you call food ah??
I bought it from the mamak stall outside...
AIYOH!! You tau tak how dirty the place is! Dunno how many virus you get from just smelling the crap they burn there. You takda otak ka?
I came back late from work, so I didn't have time to cook...
Then no need to work la! My son not rich enough for you ah?

I'll kill myself if my mother-in-law is like that. Sheesh...

Anyways, I gotta go and finish my add-maths project. (See what I mean when I say I'm lifeless?) I'll see if I can update next week. Ciaozz!

P/S: I don't need you anymore... I've learnt to move on =)

Sunday, 29 July 2007

SPM nightmares...

Blehh... I'm starting to panic already. I mean, what if I fail everything? My future gone la... Then again, I wouldn't have to worry cause I would've killed myself if I'd fail anything. =P

Havin' a party later at my place. Finally, something to take my mind off studying. Heh. Was doing preparations since yesterday. Getting the food, plates and cutlery. My dad's still in Pahang with a friend, collecting durians. *Scrunches nose in distaste* I don't fancy durians, to be honest.

Anyways, I did a performance last Sat in Mid-Valley. Played Windscape. Supposed to play another Chinese song, but m'dad reckoned it would put the audience to sleep. So yea... I should've stuck to playing the slower piece though. Cause I made a slight slip when I was playing Windscape and I panic-ed and made MORE slips. Thankfully the slips I made weren't noticeable till the point where tomatoes were wasted. You get what I mean, no? But yea, I've never made so many mistakes in a performance before, so I was scared. My dad's friend (Who apparently is a very accomplished pianist) said I played well, so I guess my mistakes were non-existant to those who don't know the score. THANK GOD!

Now back to school issues... I don't even know where to begin. Misunderstanding, problems arising, back-stabbing.. Thankfully, I'm not involved in any of those "cases". The only issue I'm currently bummed about is this annoying twirp who tries (is STILL trying) to copy whatever I do. She even copied my hairstyle for Pete's sake. Wait, lemme rephrase, for Yun Ho's sake =P

Trust me, it's driving me up the wall. The gal's practically gnawing on my last nerves. I mean, everyone's got something unique about them In HER case, it's her temper. She probably wants to do this cause there's a guy she wants to impress, but HELLO?? If the dude doesn't like you for who you are, why bother?!

Then again, who would like her for the person she is? XD

I'm evil =)

Anyways, I have to get going now. Guests would be arriving in one and a half hour's time so I gotta help out with the tables and chairs. Ciaoz!

P/S: "Someone might be coming. M'dad invited, not me =P

Thursday, 12 July 2007


I wanna go watch the movie wei... Mom and Dad says they'll bring us on Saturday =D. I'm workin' on getting the tickets. Blehh... Hope there'll be some available.

Anyways, had the "Musical Nite" thingy in school last Sat. Turn out was alright. But the program was so boring that half the hall was buzzing with chatter because those uncivilised humans don't appreciate Classical Music. Yeah... We had students from the Juliard Music School performing. All of them were playing Classical pieces. Save for two girls who sang My Fair Lady and Part of Your World. And guess what? Elizabeth Tee was there as well. Yup, she was accompanying two of the performances. Piano. I got a shock when I saw her. Haha!

My parents and siblings came too by the way... Cause I malas to persuade people to come. (All Orchestra members had to sell AT LEAST 4 tickets) So since it was my last performance, I decided to let my parents witness how awful we can sound =P No offense to the people of the Orchestra, but seriously, we are pathetic compared to the students from Juliard. Or from Ann Peru, for that matter.

I just hate it when past memories come back to haunt you, no? My friend asked me to write a song for her. She supplied the first two versus. I had to come up with the Chorus, the Bridge... Not to mention the notes, chords, accompaniment, etc... It's a love song. Says it all ne?

Oh yea, forgot to mention. I-Got-A-Haircut. My hair's like, super short now. It just brushes the nape of my neck. The most annoying thing is, the left side curls outwards whilst the right side curls inwards. So everyday after I wash my hair, I have to blow-dry it cause I'll look like Frankenstein's monster if I leave it to dry by itself =S

Okay... I gotta go now. Ma sis wants to check her mail. Toodles!

P/S: Life sucks when you keep remembering...

Saturday, 30 June 2007

Tiring week... Frustrated much?

Carnival was last Saturday... Dead tiring. Guess the fact that I was sick didn't help. No thank to Carmen and Poly who made me try out the dunkin thing on Friday. I went home with a flu and a developing cough. I was dead sick on Saturday. Woke up with a splitting headache, fever, runny nose and a bad cough to boot. Joy...

The concert was alright. Shobs, Nik, Jil and I were nervous wrecks before it started. We rehearsed a number of times earlier that day but couldn't get this one part right. Thankfully, all fell into place in the end. You might ask why we didn't practice more, but our Oh-so-High-and-Mighty said we no longer had time to do that. Blehh...

The rock bands were... *Grimaces* Rock bands. The screaming (Note that I refuse to use the word- sing) was well... Screaming. The guitar jamming was unbearable and the sound systems were way too loud. The minute the first band launched into the chorus, I came out. Dao Zhong and Shiuann came out halfway too. Shiuann and I went back in to watch our juniors dance but left again when another rock band came on. Hey, I've got a pair of ears to protect.

After everything, Kart came up to me and said that some guy in her boyfriend's gang wanted to know my name. >_< Right... I don't want anything to do with Gangster dudes, thank you.

Coming back to recent stuff, I've started studying. Finally. =P Been staying up till way past midnight memorizing facts (Not fiction) Heh...

Just got an ear-full from me mom. =( Says that if I find practicing the violin a torture, then might as well stop. And again, being the stupid fool that I am, I said I want to continue. Why ah? I honestly don't know.

Life is a roller coaster
Ups which can change to downs without notice
Then you're stuck back where you started
(Which sucks)

Makes me wonder why I still bother living. Lemme dig up a couple o' reasons...

1#: Ain't got my first kiss yet
I ain't getting one anytime soon anyways, so why bother?
2#: Haven't done anything good for the society
Err... Right. That would stop me from dying because...?
3#: SPM coming up la...
HELLO?? SPM is the MAIN reason I wanna die!

Okay, I'm being lame. Gotta go cause I haven't finished my work yet. I'll try to update soon. Ciaozz!

Saturday, 16 June 2007

Random pics of m'self and DBSK.. =P

This pic was taken when we were in HK on the first day...

I mentioned that this "Post" is of random pics right? I meant it. >_<

Jung Yun Ho... *Faints* He's damn hot la..

Xiah Kim Jun-Su. Looks damn hot here no?

Micky Park Yoo Chun. My sister's loverboy. In her dreams. HAHAHAHA!!

Don't ask me what I was doing. Was just bored outta my mind. =P

Friday, 15 June 2007

School was... O-kay..

Back to school week= no sleep, no TV, no online-ing, no electone, etc.
Back to school week= more homework, more nagging, more practice, more studying, etc.

What a life huh?

Then again, some of you might say... What life??

Tell me when you figure it out. I'd like to know what kinda life I have too... =S

Am supposed to go for VI's carnival tomorrow... But unfortunately, my dad says it would be a waste of time and therefore refuses to take me there. It's my last year la... At least let me see what the other schools' carnivals can be like.

Anyhoo, school has been quite okay. I didn't get into trouble with any teachers or anything. Just having some petty friend problems, of which (Thankfully) has nothing to do with me =D. It's nothin' much. Just the usual, friend got a problem with how another friend is acting... bla bla bla

Okay, my aunt is threatening to call my mom =S. Gotta run. Ciaozz!!

P/S: This is so weird. Am I goin' back in time again?

Friday, 8 June 2007

Hating this...

Hating where I'm stuck,
Wishing things turned out differently,
Don't understand why I miss you so much,
Was it all an illusion when you said you won't leave me?

Damn emo wei... But seriously, my feelings are so messed up. Best part is, I can't turn to anyone right now since the person I usually turn to is currently not wanting anyone in his life. So there... And I don't reckon there's anyone else where I can confide in comfortably. Well, usually it's Ken-kun, but the fella uses 019 larr... I ain't gonna raise my phone bill up any higher okay.

Just have to grit my teeth and face it. Pass time with work and stress myself out till I'm too tired to let my mind wander.

Actually, I don't think about it often. It's only when I don't do anything or at night before I fall sleep. Which explains the dark circles around my eyes no? Haven't been able to fall asleep these past few days... 2 words: pure torure.

It's like He (the one above) doesn't want me to have someone to run to when I'm feeling down. Is it some kinda test? If it is, stop it because I ain't likin' it!

Anyways, t'was really dull today so I won't bore you readers with my petty daily routines. (Like as if anyone reads my blog anyways. HAHA!) Ciaozz.

P/S: Been left alone often? I know I have... More than once =)

Thursday, 7 June 2007

Mentally drained...

1: Splitting headache
2: Tired
3: Emotionally unstable
4: Mental system has shut down

Would be bad enough if someone had 1 of those mentioned. Well, I've got all four. I'm surprised I haven't fainted yet. The nagging pain in my head is making my whole world spin. =S

Anyhoo, I finally got my revision books last night. After around 2 hrs of torture... (A.K.A.= violin practice) Went to Popular in Leisure Mall. Stupid bookstore... I still don't have a Chem and Bio reference book. And I couldn't find one anywhere on the premises of that sad excuse of a mall.

This hols was an utter failure as well. First thing is, I didn't get to go out with friends. Secondly, I only watched ONE new movie. AND I didn't do much studying. Die larr... Someone book me a place in the cemetary. I'd be there in about... 5 months?

With the violin competition thing around the corner, I'd jump into my coffin within the next 2 weeks. Wait, I'm involved with the Sri Aman Charity concert so I'll last another extra week. Blehh...

Okay... Now I gotta download some E-tutor thingy for my brother. I'll see if I can post somemore tomorrow. Ciao!

P/S: Wanna live the way I want...

Tuesday, 5 June 2007


Perlembagaan M'sia... Keluhuran Perlembagaan.. Kepentingan Perlembagaan. Yang di-Pertuan Agong berkuasa......

I've still got History facts stuck in my head. I suppose that's the whole point no? LOL!

Dang... I've still got Moral work to finish. Don't think I'll manage the whole 3 sets of paper within 5 days. Pn. Cheong is gonna kill me. Not to mention we'll be getting our remaining mid-year results- dead. Then comes open day- So dead. Parents disappointments and lectures- So SO dead. Whoa... I'll be dying repeatedly next week. Might as well do them a favor and kill myself first.

Nah, I ain't stupid. Will make the best of my life... (Or rather, what's left of it.) Dreading SPM. But can't wait for it to be over. Then finally, I can drive myself around without feelin' guilty. =P

Anyways, I learnt 2 new songs on the electone today. Well, not exactly new songs, but I played them for the first time on the electone. Went out to Claris and grabbed 3 books from the book shelf which caught my attention. Tried sight-reading "Dazzling" just now and failed miserably =S... All Jazz chords la. And I'm no electone student. Unfortunately....

Gotta do another round of violin when my mom comes back from work. Great. (Voice dripping with sarcasm) Can't help it if I don't like the instrument now can I? Talent is worthless if there's no interest, and vice versa. *hint hint* =P

I'm terrified of 12 June. That's when their gonna 'notify' the successful applicants. Part of me wants to continue... The other prays I don't get through. If I do, (Get through the 1st round), I'll have to practice extra hard, cause I don't wanna make a fool of myself in the midst of other talented and more accomplished violinists. If I don't get through, I won't have to look at the violin so often.

Tell you what, I'll just go with the flow. Gotta go now. Ja-ne!

P/S: I can no longer feel the brightness of your love...

Monday, 4 June 2007

It's just another day in paradise...

Another day of no work and all play. I'm feeling damn guilty wei... I haven't even finished my moral homework. SOoo dead. Got Sejarah notes to finish pun. =S

Somebody take a gun, point it to my head and pull the trigger please??

Ah, I'm guessing that ain't gonna happen anytime soon. Someone shooting me, I mean. Provided I land myself in someplace where there's war goin' on... Then again, if I'm in some warring country, I wouldn't get shot. I'd get a hole through my stomach. *Curses nuclear bombs*

Anyways, I finally watched Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End!! The movie was S-U-P-E-R-B! Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom looked damn hot. As usual. Didn't fancy Elizabeth much though. (But I have to admit she's a lucky girl. Oi, we NEVER see guys as hot as Orlando Bloom in M'sia now do we? Let alone kiss them...)

Okayy... Mom's makin' noise now. Gotta skitter. Ciaozz!!

P/S: Sometimes, you're just a pain in the rear...

Blehh... Problems thrown at me -_-;

First, I would like to point out that I-have-my-own-life. And would therefore appreciate it if some 'People' would acknowledge that. Don't come running to me when you have a problem, then run away when I need your help. Not saying I want payment or anything... Just when I'm already hinting heavily that I don't want to be bothered by petty "Boyfriend" problems or "My life is in a mess" so help me issues, 3 simple words: Leave-me-alone.

And I don't speak in any other languange apart from English, Mandarin and Cantonese. So only aliens would NOT understand me. And, of course, if you're illiterate or just being plain stupid. Then again, most of the time- ignorant.

Earth to all these inconsiderate people, I need my own space. I ain't no robot. My patience has its limits. Right now you people are treading on my last nerves. There's only so much I can handle, and right now my bowl of "Problems" in my brains are already over-flowing. Thank God for providing me with an outlet for all my rage- music. Or you'd be sending flowers to my grave.

Anyways, I'll just run through what I did yesterday...

Went to KLCC in the afternoon for a concert (After sending my dad to Bkt. Jalil) with my mom and sis. *Again, my bro was unable to join because he was in church camp* Ate lunch in "Nippon Tei" before the concert.

Conductor: Adrian Leaper
Soloist: Tasmin Little (Violinist)

Lol. The gal has a 300-year-old violin =S. Pity the concerto she played wasn't the really show off kind. Therefore resulting in my sis and I falling asleep during the lyrical parts of the piece. Her technique is real good though (At least, what I saw of it =P) And her intonation is crystal clear. All in all, it was a good performance.

But seriously, gimme DBSK anytime. =D

After the concert, we all had a cuppa in "Dome's". Oh, my mom and I shared a carrot cake.

Mom: *to sis* Have a bite?
Sis: I'm no rabbit.
Me: No, you're a pig.

Anyhoo, after that, my mom got 2 bottles of perfume from Calvin Klein (For herself and dad) then we headed to the carpark. Got caught in a huge jam which resulted in us reaching home after an hour with our behinds stuck in the car instead of our usual 15 minute drive back.

Oka, my mental system is shutting down again. Gonna watch Pirates 3 later. =D Ciaozz...

P/S: Yes I'm gonna be alright. Gonna take a chance...
-Shine We Are (BoA)-

Saturday, 2 June 2007

Emerges from the jungle, looking frazzled. =S

Lol. Did jungle trekking in some hills near Uncle Ti's place this morning. Seriously, we had to climb hills. My muscles were starting to ache halfway through the first level but I felt fine after that. My target was to reach level 3 but my sis couldn't rough it out so we began our descent. Just when we were reaching level 2. Blehh... -My bro couldn't take part cause he's in camp.

My mom and dad only climbed till level one. Bloody unfair right? So much for it being a "Family" thing. Excusable for my mom cause she's got knee problems, but my dad?

'Oh, I have to take care of mommy ma...'

Yea right.

It was tiring though. I nearly slipped at one point.

Louisa: Yea, and I nearly fainted.
Me: That's because you're weight's too much to carry.


Oh well, I can't deny I felt relieved once we reached firm, flat ground. The hills were so steep that I had to grab hold of the ropes throughout the whole climb for fear of falling. Lucky sister of mine had Uncle Ti's help the whole way... *Glares* Oi, I had to carry a backpack with a bottle of water also alright? Sheesh...

Anyways, my mom challenged me to learn this electone piece by a group called T-square. The rhythm is dead tricky and the tempo is unrealistically fast. Gonna take me awhile to get it done. I'm nowhere as talented as either of my parents so... Heh.

Okay, I gotta skitter now. Wanna continue with the next page of the piece ^_^ Ciao!

P/S: Don't take away my hopes and dreams... They're all I have left.

Friday, 1 June 2007

Finally... A day of relaxation...

YESH! I've finally got the recording thing out of my way! Damn sick of having to practice all day all night thanks to that god-forsaken competition. AND I don't have to touch the violin these 2 days... Holiday at last =P

Anyways, I didn't even have to LOOK at the violin today. Was out the whole day. First, dad dropped me to KLCC to get Ms.Vira's signature (to join the competition, we need a letter of recommendation from her) then we went to KLPac to drop off the application form and the recording. My sis and I were feeding ducks at one point XS. LOL! After that, we (Parents, sis and I) ate brunch in some old restaurant in my mom's hometown-Sentul.

Next stop- book fair

Some lousy fair larr... 3/4 of the halls were filled with Chinese books, of which I don't read. I managed to get ONE book though- Equinox. It's about some murder-mystery cases. I haven't even finished reading it yet. Heh...

I fell asleep on the couch almost immediately after we reached home. Hey, I slept real late last night. Or should I say, this morning? Ah, basically I haven't been getting enough rest. The endless issues bugging my mind aren't helping either.

Okay, I have no idea what the hell I'm crapping about right now so I'll stop here. My brains are malfunctioning...

P/S: Why is it everytime there's a flicker of hope, a blinker of a better ending, you have to snatch it away just when I finally start believing?

Saturday, 26 May 2007

Sri Aman Carnival on 23rd June. Coupons anyone?

Pfft... Carnival again. For once, I'd like to see Pn. Alainal selling stuffs in her own booth. No one would buy anything. Haha.

She obviously thinks it's peanuts making RM2000 in one day. Yup, we're supposed to sell 2000 ringgit worth of coupons from 8a.m. till 4.30p.m... If we don't hit our target, we're gonna have to come up with our own money... =S

My class has decided to do a Dunkin' Booth and some slime throwing thing... Alisha and Carmen insisted on my assistance for the Dunkin' Booth >_<; I protested and practically begged if I could handle the cash instead. But NOo... Sha said there's not enough people. Perfect, just what I need -getting wet in front of guys. Not that there's anything to see anyways. I ain't got no visible feminine "assets". Heehee...

Guess what? We're getting teacher's to get "Dunked" as well. So far, we've got Pn.Usha (Form/Chem), Pn.Mary (Discipline/Bio), Pn.Chua (P.K.HEM/Moral) and... *Drum rolls*

Pn. Alainal

Hey, Don't look at me. I'm not the one who went up to her and said," Teacher, how would you like getting wet in front of hundreds of people?" Sheesh...

Oh, when I told my friends about me being involved with the whole getting wet part...

1#: Please tell me you're joking...
2#: Hmm... I know a lost cause when I see one.
3#: Goner la, you're gonna have to come up with RM2000 on your own...
4#: Why you worry? No one would wanna see you wet la.
5#: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *Doesn't stop*

Thanks a lot guys.

Honestly speaking, I agreed to the Dunkin' thing cause I didn't wanna get slime on ma face. Heh... I look ugly enough without green and purple stuff smeared on my skin. So yea, the Slime Booth would be a no-no.

Oka, I'd better make a move now. Gonna bathe then make a beeline to Claris. *I wanna try out "Elegy" on the Stagea =D* Sayonara ja mata!

Sunday, 20 May 2007

Sunday = violin class = disaster

Guess what? Today's class was rubbish. Blehh... Stupid mid-year exams caused my practice hours to shorten. Ms. Vira criticized the recording we did. Bloody 300 bucks gone to waste. My dad had purposely bought the i-talk recording thingy for my i-pod just so we could record my playing. Now I'm seriously regretting my decision. About joining the competition I mean. Oh well, too late to go back on my word. Gotta slave my ass off this 2 months. Pfft...

Anyways, we all went for Izumi Takada's concert yesterday. As usual, she's real good. Oh-ma-god, the way she plays... Makes me feel like digging a hole and burying myself in it. After seeing her play, I don't even deserve to be called a musician. Oh, and this time she played a few new songs... I loved her Irish piece. She played "Elegy" by the way. The minute she announced that she was gonna play that piece, I immediately looked at Kah Yip, who was sitting a few rows in front.

That piece has a story to it by the way. She'd composed it when her boyfriend broke up with her. It's got a mixture of sadness, anger, frustration... Izumi-san looked a little sad while she was playing too. Oh well, heartbreaks are hard to get over. I should know. Heh...

She ended the concert with "Tong Hwa"... Again.

Anyhoo, back to the events of today, I'd walked to Claris at about 3.30p.m., thinking I'd wanna play awhile on the Stagea before my group class starts, but NOoo... The stagea's sound was so horrible I stopped playing and called my dad. Seems like there's some problem in it and the technician will be comin' over to check it out. Damn potong stim wei...

I'm learning "Elegy" now by the way. At least, I'm trying to. Was playing the left hand along with the recording earlier and I could barely keep up. Blehh... Looks like it's gonna take me quite a long while to get this piece down. It ain't easy. Rhythm's tricky, left hand keeps going, pedalling is simple but difficult to coordinate both hands AND feet.

I'd willingly practice electone 5hrs than practice 1hr violin. =S

Okay, I'd better make a move now. Gonna go back to P.J. later. Not going to school though... Oi, I got my performance 4 exam in 2 weeks. I don't wanna fail larr... No way. Ciaozz!

P/S: I need a life without you, to know that I don't need you...

Saturday, 19 May 2007

... stupid competition. Why did I agree to it??

Oh well, at least exam's are over. For now -_-; Then why do I not feel good? Hmm... Lemme make a list:

1- I'm bloody pissed with "someone"
2- We didn't do the whole confrontation thing yesterday.
3- Got a friend who's ruining her life cause of a GUY!

Why can't they just leave us alone?? Guys, they're all the same. When they need you, they come running. When they don't? Guess what? You're ignored. What the f- do you think we are??? Bl**dy genies whom you can conjure up at any time? We're humans with human feelings. You wanna talk then talk, when you don't want to, say so cause you're making all of us girls frustrated!

Honestly, I don't wanna care anymore. What, does he think I've got all the time in the world and he's the only living organism who has a lotta problems?? Hello?? You come and dump all your problems on me, but when I need to tell you something? Poof! You vanish into thin air. Now I'm wondering if what you've said so far are true or do you say them to all your other girlfriends? Cause if that's the case, don't ever bother calling me when you need someone, run to your precious girlfriends. I really couldn't care less.

I'm tired. Tired of getting hurt like this all the time. Not one or twice. If hurt meant bleeding? I would've died a long time ago.

I need you out of my life...

I'd already gotten over it. Then...

Gah, I give up. Anyways, I gotta make a move now. Have to get somethings done before my mom comes back and chops my head off... Ciaozz.

P/S: I'd give anything to anyone with the ability to brainwash me.

Sunday, 13 May 2007

Exam's are almost over... ALMOST...

Stupid exams... Why can't we cheat in exams? It'll make our lives SOO much easier... Then again, if we can cheat in exams, why have exams in the first place? Sheesh. M'sia is the ONLY country which is SO exam-oriented. Stupid edu system. I mean, the peeps who get straight A's don't even get jobs after comin' back from whichever big-time uni. So why emphasize on getting A's??

Ah, I just need to get through SPM. After that, I'm FREE!! I don't care, I'm throwing ALL my books in the dump THE DAY I finish. Haha! Then full time concentrate on learning electone pieces. I still suck at it. Gotta improve if I wanna take performance 4 next year. Heh...

Whoop-de-doop. I'm lookin' forward to next friday. Not only exam's finished, but we FINALLY will clear our heads on that matter. Not gonna go into details, but yea... Been mulling over the problem with that partucular person for a long time.

OH! Not forgetting Saturday as well. Izumi Takada's concert! Yep, she's comin' again. This time she'll be performing in KLCC. If my dad doesn't bring me, I swear I'll wring his neck. Heehee ><

Anyhoo, I gotta make a move now. Got violin class after this XP Didn't practice much this whole week. Heck, I haven't even SLEPT well this week. No thanks to stupid mid-year exams. Just hope Ms. Vira doesn't shoo me outta class. I didn't wanna go for class actually, but my mom... Nuff said no? Ciao!

P/S: Black Cat finished already?? What's wrong with the world?!
-Black Cat is with Saya, NOT Eve!- =P

Saturday, 5 May 2007

Bored to death... Scrabble anybody?

Lol. Supposed to be practising =P Malas lerr... Hey, I DID practise earlier alright. Only finished at quarter to midnight yesterday. Thanks to mum of course. And err... was on the phone till quite late *Smiles guiltily* Hehehe...

Anyways, this huge confrontation thing we're doing after exams... Dunno if we're doing the right thing. Seems a little too...mean. But still, if we don't do it, she's gonna climb on top of our heads. Not gonna her ruin our performances anymore. We all agreed to it on Thursday and was planning to tell her yesterday itself but that smart ass didn't come so... Luck was on her side, we're pushing it to after exams.

Anyhoo, coming back to happier thoughts, I'm on speaking terms with you-know-who again. It's always up and down, our friendship I mean. Ah, the busy lives we lead keeps us from conversing often. Oh well, gotta get used to it... The next time we talk on the phone will probably be after SPM. Heh...

She didn't even bother to wish me on my birthday. Must've forgotten all about it. Sheesh. I never forget her birthdays. Asked her to come for ICC, but she had some camp thing on so she couldn't make it. Don't think she realised it was on my birthday...

Oka, I gotta make a move now. Gonna have class with my mum at 6p.m. Have ter bathe and everything. Oh damn, I haven't practised much either. Better do one round first, I don't wanna die so young wei.. HAHA! Ciaoz..

P/S: I don't think I wanna go for prom this year la...
Tess: Oi! You're supposed to be my date!!
Clare: *Smiles innocently* You'll get a Boyfriend by then la..
Tess: If I don't??
Clare: Err... I'll find you one!
Tess: *whacks Clare*
Clare: Okay, okay.. (Gives in)

Tuesday, 1 May 2007

Not a bad day... Could've been better though XP

Had a pretty easy day... Woke up around 8a.m. went for Physics tuition at 9... Went for brunch with my whole family in Bukit Jalil. Only thing I was quite pissed at is that I'm supposed to celebrate Tess's birthday in One Utama but no...

Dad: It's a family thing... your family more important than your friend or the other way round?


Tess is gonna kill me. I messaged her this morning and she hasn't replied... Must be damn furious with me. *Sigh* Just gonna have to rush up to her on Thursday and say sorry. All I can do now is pray and hope she understands. I didn't ask my dad to be so... evil

Anyways, after brunch, we dropped my grandma off to the dialysis centre and went back home. (My dad wanted my sis to change =P) When she finally found an outfit that wouldn't embarras us, XP we drove off to KLCC. Well, partly cause I wanted to get Tess and that useless fella their birthday presents. AND we had to do grocery shopping or we wouldn't have had food to eat for dinner! HAHA!

Came back home at around 3p.m.++, bathed and slept for awhile. (I didn't sleep well last night thanks to my uncle who was snoring away... Sheesh) Woke up at around 6 when my sis kept yelling in my ear, demanding that I make the stupid macaroni and cheese. -_-; After that, we had Jap/Thai/Italian style dinner... Ooh! And wine too =) THEN I was forced to "entertain" my parents with my pieces...

That's all anyhoo... Gotta go now. My parents are finishing the game already... -Scrabble- Heehee... Ciaozz!

Monday, 30 April 2007

In a not-so-good mood...

Still sore from what happened yesterday. Tried practicing the violin earlier... Gave up half way. Maybe cause I didn't get much sleep last night, thanks to some smart fella who decided to further bug my happiness. ><

Anyways, here's what I've been listening to the whole morning...

It's tearing up my heart when I'm with you
But when we are apart, I feel it too
And no matter what I do, I feel the pain
with or without you

Baby I don't understand
Just why we can't be lovers
Things are getting out of hand
Trying too much, but baby we can't win...

-Tearing up My Heart-

Ocean's apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain

If I see you next to never
How can we say forever

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted, all the times
That I thought would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now

Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me going crazy

-Right Here Waiting-

If there's a prize for rotten judgement
I guess I've already won that
No man is worth the aggravation

That's ancient history-been there, done that!

Who'd'ya think you're kidding
He's the earth and heaven to you
Try to keep it hidden
Honey, we can see right through you
Girl, ya can't conceal it
We know how ya feel and
Who you're thinking of

No chance, no way
I won't say it, no, no

You swoon, you sigh,
Why deny it? Uh-oh!

It's too cliche
I won't say I'm in love

I thought my heart had learnt its lesson
It feels so good when you start out
My head is screaming get a grip, girl
Unless you're dying to cry your heart out...

-I won't Say I'm In Love-

Says it all dunnit? HAHA! I'm dying alright... Dying to let it all go, drop it like a bombshell.

Sunday, 29 April 2007

Don't put anything sharp near me...

In a real vicious mood right now... Gonna start screaming into my pillow real soon. Wish I never... *Bangs head against table*

I'm back.

Nothing makes sense to me now... Nothing. Whatever he says, it just drives me up the wall. So much that I'd rather he didn't say anything. I'm not a f-ing diary which you write all your problems in and throw away once you're happy again. I've got feelings AND problems of my own. So when I have them, at least have the courtesy to listen to them no matter how trivial the matter might be.

I want to give up already... I thought there might've been a chance.. Another shot at what was taken away so suddenly. I really wanna give up... I nearly did. Then just that one day, he HAD to throw it all back at me. Now I'm starting to have sleeping problems again, thanks to annoying thoughts that drug my days and haunt my nights.

God, gotta go shopping for Tess' present tomorrow...

Okay, I'm in no condition to type anymore than I already have. Hope the dude actually stumbles across this blog so he knows how much I'm suffering. -_-;

P/S: Why is there always one thing that stops me from completely letting it go?

Start of a new year...

Damn colourful ne? LOoVEEe this pic!!

The castle's pink... *Looks away in disgust* Like the fireworks though.

LOL! Looks as if someone's throwing glitter from the castle. Wonder if it's cinderella up there...

Overall, it was the best display of fireworks I've ever seen in my ENTIRE life!
P/S: Too bad those in my heart are dying down... -_-;

I now officially hate Sundays...

Yup, violin class sucked REAL badly... Haven't played this pathetically in a long while. Mom thinks I don't practice the right way, Ms. Vira reckons I hardly practiced this 2 weeks... I BLOODY DID PRACTICE ALRIGHT?!! I might be getting bored of the piece though. Been playing NOTHING apart from that stupid concerto.. Fine, the piece isn't stupid, but who the f- won't get bored of playin' the same piece for 5 months???

I don't even like practicing the violin. To be honest with myself, I NEVER liked it. The practice, I mean. I like playing on the violin in a group... It's just the practice I can't stand. Unlike when it comes to the piano, I like playing the piano. Therefore, I will automatically want to practice. Violin? Hell, I only do it cause my mom wants me to. Sheesh...

Anyways, my mom asked me just now if I wanted to quit. (In the car on the way home...) I didn't answer. Mom's getting fed up. Says she doesn't wanna finance my lessons anymore if I don't put my heart into it. Dad says I'm too emotionless when playing. I can't help it if I'm shy now can I? *Sigh* I tried alright... but apparently my body doesn't do whatever my mind tells it to.. -_-;

After that, my mom asked me to give an answer before she leaves the house. (She's goin to watch the Olivia Newton John's concert in Genting.) Couldn't get the problem outta my head. If I quit, my mom will be heartbroken and my future would be less bright (it's already dim to start out with...) but if I continue, means I'll have to force myself to practice and sacrifice more sleep or my studies would take a drop as well...

Anyhoo, my answer was to continue. Show's how stupid I am doesn't it? And someone whom I thought would be able to help with my dilema is NOT helping at all.

P/S: DBSK- Ko mayo...
I'm in love with you, just like old days...

Saturday, 28 April 2007

Random anime pics XP

That's it... I'm gonna try and draw this. (Just hopefully I don't ruin it. LOL!)

Autumn Dream... If only this stupid country had 4 seasons..

-BLACK CAT (Train Heartnet)-
Told you he looks damn cute =P

I like the cool, watery feeling when I see this pic... A sense of calmness..

found this pic online while I had nothin' to do...

Blehh... I'm a violinist too.. But looking nowhere as pretty *Sighs* Love the violin.

Saturday morning... Got nothing to do...

Blehh... I'm blogging while waiting for the stupid video to finish downloading...

Okay, fine. The video is not stupid. But the downloading speed is SO SLOW!!! Oh well, it's partially my fault I didn't catch the first few episodes. Wasn't very interested at first, then once I saw the 5th ep. (I think)... I was hooked. Yea sure, it's an anime -Black Cat- Hey, we have to have a little bit of childish-ness once in awhile. I know ADULTS who still get hooked onto anime(s) la...

Anyhoo... (It's NOT a spelling error) was watching the DBSK's concert the other day... a birthday present from a friend actually. Dunno where the dude got it from, but it's DAMN nice! (Karisa: Arigato, Ken-kun!) And may I conclude that Yun Ho looked as hot as ever? HAHA! (Louisa: Oh god...) Oi, at least I don't call him a "Hottie hot hottie" right? Just for your info, that's what my sis calls Micky (another DBSK dude). Max is real cute too, so is Xiah... Sorry, but Hero just looks like a girl. -_-;

Been a fan since I saw them in an advertisement on TV. Begged my dad to take us to their concert, bought their CDs... They're really good, though my mom obviously disagrees. (Mom: I really cannot comprehend why you all can stand that kind of noise.) They've got nice slow songs as well larr... And their voices are like... *Sighs*

Sorry. I'm a bit of an idiot when it comes to DBSK. Not that I'm obsessed (I don't have their pictures stuck in every corner of my room), just that I think they're real good. Hey, it's not everyday you come across a group of 5 who can sing, dance and look good while doing it. =P Not only that, but Micky speaks english too. (Explains why my sis is so in love with him no?)

Okay, enough about them...

*Kent: blehh... gays..
Me: They are NOT gay!!

Grr... don't know what to type anymore... My brains' are malfunctioning. *Frowns* Here's the remaining half of "Looking Through Your Eyes"...

I see a night I wish could last forever,
I see a world we're meant to see together.
And it is so much more than I remember..
More than I remember...
More than I have known...

Here in the night,
I see the sun,
Here in the dark,
our two hearts are one.

Its out of our hands,
we can't stop what we have begun,
And love just took me by surprise,
looking through your eyes..

Looking through your eyes

P/S: Wishing I could just grab a time turner from Hermione and go back another 10 yrs... Sheesh

Thursday, 26 April 2007

Lol... Random post..

I am bloody tired out. Honestly, not like I'm some robot who can recharge my batteries WHILE operating... Sheesh. Spent the whole day studying AND teaching my siblings. Well, not so much my sis since she's pretty independant. Unlike my brother who doesn't even know what "reconstruction" means. -_-;

Did Bio and moral today... Managed to cover the first 4 chapters of Bio form 4 and memorized half the "Nilai(s)" for moral. Hopefully I can do well in the mid-year exams. I'm gonna flunk Chemistry though, seeing that my tuition teacher isn't helping very much... Blehh

Anyways, after getting a 1/2 hour break, I practiced the piano (exam's at the end of May) then ran upstairs when I realised it was already 7p.m. (Hey, I ain't gonna miss Black Cat again alright) And that's pretty much all... Cause I ain't goin into details regarding the time when my mom started complaining bout how short my practice time was.

And now I'm sitting here, letting my mind wander around aimlessly while chatting with a certain person who will be starting to give me lectures on a certain err... "Problem" I'm currently facing.

Oohh!! I finally found the songs I've been dying to get since what... Last year? It's from a movie actually-- Quest for Camelot. LOVE the songs. Especially "Looking Through Your Eyes"... Meaningful... To me, that is... Heh. Anyhoo, here's the first part of the song:-

Look at the sky tell me what do you see,
Just close your eyes and describe it to me,
The heavens are sparkling with starlight tonight,
That's what I see through your eyes..

I see the heavens each time that you smile,
I hear your heartbeat just go on for miles,
And suddenly I know why life is worthwhile,
That's what I see through your eyes...

Here in the night,
I see the sun,
Here in the dark,
Our 2 hearts are one...

It's outta our hands,
We can't stop what we have begun..

And love just took me by surprise,
Looking through your eyes....

Nice huh? Love the movie too... Mixture of fantasy, romance, comedy, action.. HAHA! And animation too! I'm not surprised I liked the songs since most of them were David Foster's compositions. Heh.

Anyways, I gotta go practice... Again. This time on the violin. Great, my shoulder's gonna hurt like hell cause I didn't bring my shoulder rest back from my grandparents' place. Wonderful memory of mine... *Frowns*

P/S: If you see me like this, and if I see you like that... It was gone with the wind but it's
all coming back to me now...

Sunday, 22 April 2007

Best Birthday of the Century... And I mean it literally=P

OMG!!! Last Saturday has got to be one of the best birthdays I could ever ask for! First was the ICC performance. We were still VERY uptight during rehearsals, and were damn nervous before we went on stage, but everything turned out GREAT! We even got second place! HAHA! We were so ridiculously happy and were all jumping on stage while receiving the prize. Seriously, I was surprised we actually won something.

After that, a whole series of unfortunate events occured... I won't go into details, but I was starting to think my day had begun to turn sour. Thankfully, it didn't go as far as ruining my day and I spent the rest of the night calling everyone under the sun to thank them for their thoughtfullness... and their presents too of course! I particularly liked the cards. They were so touching I nearly cried!

Anyways, I was in for a surprise the next day... Something (Or rather, someone) told me some quite startling news. I won't say what it is, but I was surprised. VERY surprised. And shocked. Didn't expect it at all. So much for moving on huh? I just landed right smack at where I was 5 months ago. On the 20th of October 2006. *Sighs* Guess talking the talk and walking the walk ARE 2 very different things and can't be done so easily.

That's all about the weekend...

Received the latest gift from someone today. Lol... Had to WALK out to get it. Blehh... No school tomorrow, that's why I'm in Cheras. YAY! Can play on the Stagea tomorrow =P

Anyways, technically I'm not "legally" online so I think I'd better start work or my mom will skin me alive ><

P/S: If my decision 3 months ago was right... Why do I feel like an idiot?

Sunday, 8 April 2007

First post... heh

Heck, since I don't come online often... Heehee. I'm supposed to be doing research for extinction of white tigers for some dumb EST presentation but. *smiles innocently* Hey, I DID get the info alright. Just that I wanted to savour the opportunity being able to be online. Hehe ^_^ Not MY fault I don't have a comp with me all the time right? *Glares pointedly at my dad*

Oh, and I forgot to mention earlier... Had an orchestra performance yesterday. Made plans with "Auntie" to send me to school AND pick me up. Damn the stupid Prize Giving Ceremony.

Anyways, I reached school at around 7.10a.m. I was the only idiot wearing that horrible chef-life-japanese-kungfu master- of a robe carrying my violin case (which can pass for a gun bag or something) and my bag containing my precious i-pod and extra t-shirt. (Hey, I ain't gonna wander around school with that horrible green cloth on me after the performance) Thankfully, my juniors started arriving before I had to endure too many stares so it wasn't THAT unbearable. I was VERY tempted to glare at this one girl who looked like she's never seen anything so green in her life. Sheesh.

Rachel and Yen Li arrived few minutes before 7.30a.m. and we made our way to the orchestra room. Having dumped our bags there, we carried the keyboards to the hall. Yen Li and Rachel carrying their own keyboard while I carried both their stands. Three of us glared daggers at those oh-so-macho dudes who just stood there watching us struggle to get those huge things on that dumb platform thingy my "wonderful" headmistress installed EXCLUSIVELY for the orchestra. Pfft, like as if we don't get enough exercise climbing the numerous stairs around school. She HAD to stuff 2 more steps in our lives.

The performance was alright. Aiman and I played "Happy Birthday" for Datuk Wong -me on the piano, Aiman on the violin- Originally I was supposed to play the violin too, but the "Prime Minister" woman hadn't come so I had to do her dirty work. Thankfully I could do it spontaneously. Or Datuk Wong would have had a very memorable birthday indeed. Horrible pianist and an amateur violinist to ruin his day.

We finished earlier than scheduled so Yen Li, Rachel and I, whose transport accesses weren't as flexible as compared to our fellow school mates, sat in the canteen chit-chatting bout nothing in particular while I downed 2 ice-creams one after the other. Heehee. Hey, I didn't have breakfast okay. A girl's gotta eat ya' know...

"Auntie" came at precisely 12.45p.m. I left school without much regret of leaving Rachel and Yen Li behind =P Went home, ate and watched this movie bout the President's daughter desperate for a normal life and ended up falling in love with her dad's Secret Service Agent. Typical romance story. I came close to puking at one point... The girl's pretty though. The dude was too muscular for my taste, but not too ugly.

After the movie, I packed my stuff prior to the arrival of the taxi man at 3p.m. sharp. My grandpa, being the anxious person that he is, was already sitting near the door, shooting me with the usual questions: finish packing ah? Make sure you take all your things. What time is the fella coming? Your daddy has his phone number or not? Mummy's friend ah that one?

*Sighs* I wasn't raped or anything la. Though he DID ask me where to turn next XD. HAHA! Hey, my sense of direction is in the pits, but I DO know the way back to my own house without having to go through the Sahara Desert.

Whoa, I think I've typed more than enough. My mental system is shutting down... Buh Bye =)